Gram-O-Gram

A kilogram just isn't what it used to be.

The 118-year-old cylinder that is the international prototype for the metric mass appears to have lost 50 micrograms compared with the average of dozens of copies. Oh shit! (not really)

"The mystery is that they were all made of the same material, and many were made at the same time and kept under the same conditions, and yet the masses among them are slowly drifting apart," said physicist Richard Davis of the International Bureau of Weights and Measures . "We don't really have a good hypothesis for it."

While the jackasses of the world cry fearfully about it, claiming it could affect even countries that don't use the metric system, I can clearly cut through the scientific chatter and remind everybody that the original standard is fine, and that there are plenty of copies that still meet the exact standard.

The 50 micrograms decrease is roughly equivalent to the weight of a fingerprint, which when looked at by the 1889 standards which the measure was based on is unnoticeable. We may as well look at the Wright Brothers and fret over our hypersonic jets, or lament the CGI in films looking back at Edison's experiments with celluloid. New tools and technology = greater ability to determine detail and improve the standards of life. Yes, it's a lovely mystery, but civilization will find a way to reestablish the kilogram with enough certainty that we'll be able to continue living our lives absent the current atmosphere of fear.