I don't care for sports outside the hockey realm, but I have to do my American duty and watch the Super Bowl. It pleases me to know that the host city Tampa has more strip clubs than high schools and hospitals. Fortunately, there are an equal number of McDonalds. And to help you enjoy the big game, here's some tips on what to do, and what not to...
DO: BUY YOURSELF A SIX-PACK
DON’T:SHOW OFF YOUR 2-PACK
DO: LAUGH AT ALL OF THE FUNNY COMMERCIALS
DON’T: LAUGH AT YOUR BROTHER’S HANDICAPPED DATE
DO: ADMIRE THE BUD CLYDESDALES
DON’T: BRING UP CHRISTOPHER REEVE
DO: WATCH THE HALFTIME SHOW
DON’T: PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SCREAM “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION”
DO: WEAR YOUR TEAM’S JERSEY
DON’T: WEAR YOUR MOM’S OLD WIG
DO: CHEER AT THE KICK-OFF
DON’T: CHEER WHEN YOUR FRIEND SAYS HE GOT LAID OFF
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