Insult To Injury

You haven’t been depressed until you’ve seen 900 words in the L.A. Times dedicated to Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Most of them explain why it’s performed so unexpectedly well at the box office (I could explain that in two words: no competition), but the last two paragraphs reveal some news about the principals’ upcoming plans:

What’s less clear is when Paul Blart might save the day again. James has been developing the comedy “Zookeeper” at MGM and may soon costar in a new Sandler comedy for Sony.“Happy Madison historically has been very reluctant to do sequels,” says a hopeful [producer Doug] Belgrad. “But we believe there is an opportunity to make another Paul Blart movie.”

Oh boy, Paul Blart: Zookeeper. I wonder if he’ll try really hard to feed the animals but then mess it up because he’s fat. That would be really funny. Heck, we could just make this into a series like those tween movies the Olsen twins got rich off. Paul Blart: Truckdriver. Paul Blart: Chiropractor. Paul Blart: Bricklayer. They’ll all be about a fat guy falling down, but in each one he’ll wear a new outfit. Ooh, I smell action figures!