It's True And I Can Prove It For You

In 1985, the Center for Disease Control took sperm samples from Vietnam vets between the ages of 31 and 44, and then gave them a series of intelligence tests. Researchers from three universities recently analyzed these results, and found that the smarter the man, the more sperm per milliliter of semen he produced. His boys were also better swimmers.

Since the researchers couldn't find evidence that sperm quality was influenced by the good habits that people with higher IQs might have -- such as not smoking or eating right -- they speculated that high-quality sperm may be passed down as part of a package of good genetic attributes, which also includes intelligence.

Unfortunately, this means that if you've been able to avoid an unwanted pregnancy thus far in your life, it may be because you're an idiot.