Some of the headlines from over the weekend...because we may not post, but we still follow the news.Kin outraged, distraught over teen's cyber suicide - Only in Florida do they refer to a family as "kin". How appropriate.
British may ban 'happy hour' as drink deaths rise - And still, no plans to institute a general dentistry program.
Panda in China zoo bites student who wanted a hug - Call it a hug, with a little something extra for a dumbass.
Hunter's bullet grazes 2 kids at Mich. day care - Better luck next time...you may actually bag one of them.
Ohio police nab possible 'Granny Robber' suspect - "Granny Panties" suspect still at large
US: Financial woes no excuse in funding Afghan war - Not even recession can stop warmongering!
Astronauts face hardest spacewalk to finish repair - What, in the freezing cold zero gravity of space, how much more difficult can it get?
Google empowers users to edit search results - Yes, it's called "do another search"
HIV tests not yet as routine as cholesterol checks - then again, high cholesterol isn't being transmitted through unprotected sex, needle sharing, or blood transfusions.
Teen lives 4 months with no heart, leaves hospital - My ex lived for longer without a heart, and you don't see a news story on her, do you?
MTV launches African music awards - Because what Africa needs are MTV awards, not the prevention of genocide, famine, poverty, civil war, or AIDS.
Jimmy Connors arrested in Santa Barbara - It's been so long since he was newsworthy, but apparently, he could get arrested.
Australia outback mayor wins annual sexist award - What's wrong with being sexy?
Obese have right to two airline seats - Great, they get a second seat free, and they're going to want double the snacks next!
To turn the tide on piracy in Somalia, bring justice to its fisheries - Yes, the age old pirates-vs.-fisheries argument.
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