Kelly Bundy Has Breast Cancer

Christina Applegate has been diagnosed with breast cancer, her rep announced over the weekend. She is only 36 years old.

Her spokesperson said:

"Christina Applegate was diagnosed with an early form of breast cancer. Benefiting from early detection through a doctor ordered MRI, the cancer is not life threatening. Christina is following the recommended treatment of her doctors and will have a full recovery. No further statement will be issued at this time."

Sorry folks, no jokes here. Kelly Bundy getting breast cancer just feels like a superbummer and un-American.