Friday, November 2, 2007

Getting Themselves On The Ballot


Oh, Parent Of The Year, you have some real contenders!

Television bounty hunter and posterboy for straight-to-video action movies from the 80's, Duane "Dog" Chapman, had his show pulled from the air indefinitely by A&E, two days after a private phone conversation in which the reality star used a racial slur repeatedly was posted online.

In their spineless statement, the channel copped to the following:

“In evaluating the circumstances of the last few days, A&E has decided to take `Dog The Bounty Hunter' off the network's schedule for the foreseeable future. We hope that Mr. Chapman continues the healing process that he has begun." And then assured folks that one of the top rated programs on the network had not been canceled.

Wow, how considerate, and decisive. Who said A&E didn't have balls?

Dog, who shouldn't look forward to many happy Fathers Day's in the future, was thrown to the media wolves in his own words by none other than his son. Seems a private rant at your kid urging him to break up with his black girlfriend isn't kosher if you keep calling her a nigger. Yep, I said it. Fuck you Sharpie and kiss my ass Jessie!

Tucker, who has the jungle fever and can now change his name to Benedict Arnold, recorded the conversation and sold it to The National Enquirer. What a wonderful son. You've got to feel good as a parent when you raised your boy to record your stupid racist comments and sell them to paparazzi vultures who'll tear you apart. I can't defend good old fashioned racism, but let the crazy old racist make himself lose credibility with his kid in private and let's worry about little vindictive brats who are so self involved that revenge is more important that keeping a family's honor and image intact. Oh shit, who am I kidding...they're a family of white trash bounty hunters who looking like Maui tourists circa the Carter era.

Celebs, I told you, your private conversations can now be used to ruin your public image and career even if they have nothing to do with your work or fame.
Isn't that right Alec Baldwin?

Meanwhile, Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid took some attention away from his team's dismal 3-4 start by insisted he will not resign after a judge sentenced Reid's two sons to prison and likened his home to a "drug emporium." Why would he have to resign? As long as those kids don't play for the Eagles, who cares?

Reid took a five-week absence earlier this year, also in relation to the shining antics of his rascally boys.

"...as parents we have huge concerns for our two boys. This has been a battle we have dealt with here for a few years and I'm sure we'll continue to address the situation. Our prayers are obviously with the boys, for their future, and to make sure things work out, where they can live a normal life down the road," he said. You're pretty much out of your league as a parent if you're praying your little junkies can live a "normal life".

Fortunately, equally sage minds agreed Reid's parenting was as good as it got.

"He has done everything he could. He went out, worked his butt off to make sure he made a good life for his family. Through that he showed his kids ... It is up to the kids to learn from it."

Cornerback Sheldon Brown hath spoken!

"At the end of the day, each individual makes his own decision and has to be held accountable for his own actions."

God damn, he spoketh again!

On Friday, prosecutors charged 24-year-old Garrett Reid with five additional drug counts related to 89 pills he had smuggled into prison. His cellmate said he saw Reid remove the pills from his rectum and that Reid offered him some of the pills. Supercool! I just saw the same thing go down in the second season of Oz.

On Thursday night, police searched the Reid home to corroborate the cellmate's story. They found numerous drugs in Garrett Reid's room, including several prescriptions in his name and other prescriptions in his brother's name, as well as two syringes and eight needles.

That same day, 22-year-old Britt Reid detailed his eight-year struggle with painkillers and other drugs as he was sentenced to 8 - 23 months in jail for pointing a gun at another driver. He also pleaded guilty to charges including carrying a firearm without a license.

Originally, Garrett Reid had been sentenced to 2 - 23 months in jail for a high-speed crash in which another driver was injured. Police found heroin, steroids and more than 200 pills in his car and he admitted using heroin on the day of the crash.

Montgomery County Judge Steven O'Neill called the Reids a "family in crisis" and questioned whether brothers Britt and Garrett Reid should return to their parents' home after they serve their jail terms.

At 22 and 24, they shouldn't be living at home.

Both Chapman and Reid are wearing ostrich sized egg on their faces thanks in part to their children, who have world class parents whose failures personally and paternally have made their offspring damaged goods. And no matter what, it is the parent who is responsible for the actions of the child, whether they drove them to it or neglected to prevent it. Then again, they're a bunch of bastards who make their dads look bad when doing only what they want. Selfishness is to children as incompetence is to parents.

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