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Monday, October 31, 2011
We're A Costume, Not A Culture
Phoenix Coyotes forward Raffi Torres attended his team's annual Halloween party as Jay-Z, while his wife was done up as Beyonce. Oh, and by the way, he's not black and neither is she.
As one of my favorite hockey blogs Puck Daddy pointed out, Torres was "immediately criticized and demonized" as a knee-jerk reaction for going in what some felt was blackface. Believe it or not, Torres is the NHL's first Mexican / Peruvian player, and dealt with racial conflict as he grew up while he played youth hockey in Toronto (his mother was told that Raffi "should be selling tacos" and his father once tacked another hockey parent because of taunts).
Similarly in 2009, players Adam Burish and Patrick Kane went to a Halloween party dressed as Dennis Rodman and Scottie Pippen of the Chicago Bulls, with darkened skin. Despite the backlash, neither player offered an apology, and neither should Torres, who is nothing more than a huge Jay-Z fan.
Adds Puck Daddy, "The offensive nature of "blackface" is rooted in its representation of a racist archetype. Clearly, the...players were dressed and made up as real people rather than a stereotype manifested through exaggerated appearance. Other than the color of their skin, there's nothing stereotypical or embellished about their appearance as black men. It could be argued that their skin tone is as relevant as the jersey or fake tattoos."
Perhaps it's the sensitivity spawned from a recent Ohio University ad campaign dealing with costumes that focus on different cultures, but as a costume alone, what's really offensive about it? We'll wait for you to come up with something...
Monday, October 10, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
And The Winner For Best Costume Is...
In honor of the documentary they'll be running Sunday on how South Park gets made in less than a week, here's a little behind-the-scenes story about those guys...Back in 2000, creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone went to the Oscars wearing the same dresses that had previously been worn by Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow to the show. And how did they get the courage to pull it off? They took acid.
"We thought of it the week before...we had tuxes as a backup because we thought we were gonna chicken out, and we did," said Trey Parker. " And we were like, ‘Let’s not do that, let’s not do that.’ But then we were like, 'Let’s take a little bit of acid.' So we did that and of course an hour later we were like, 'WE GOTTA WEAR THE DRESSES'." Added Matt Stone, "It made that whole thing just make sense."
This video from Jimmy Kimmel Live details the event.
Active Cultures
A grocery store worker accused of handing out a semen-tainted yogurt sample at an Albuquerque market pleaded guilty. And that's why I never take anything off those tester stands.Anthony Garcia admitted he "tainted" a the sample at Sunflower Market in January, and also put some semen on the plastic spoon he placed with the yogurt. His finishing move was to offer a female customer a sample. He pleaded guilty to charges of adulterating food and making false statements to federal investigators. And I had no idea that you could adulterate food. Or that it was illegal.
The woman spit the sample on the floor several times and wiped her mouth on the garment, which she was wearing to get the taste out of her mouth. Investigators collected samples of the woman's spit from the floor and took the garment she was wearing as evidence. They were instrumental in linking Garcia to the yogurt via DNA, but man, that is a pretty shitty job to have.
Garcia faces up to three years of imprisonment to be followed by three years of supervised release. He has been in federal custody since his arrest in July, and was also terminated from his job.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The Race Is Off
Sarah Palin announced today that she will not run for president, claiming she'd be to tired if she ran from Alaska to the White House.
After months of speculation, she made her decision "after much prayer and serious consideration", which, if you're praying a lot to make a decision, then you'd better consider that seriously bad.
"My decision is based upon a review of what common sense Conservatives and Independents have accomplished, especially over the last year," she said. And other than creating a crowded field of sub-par candidates and birthing the most disliked political party since the National Socialists, that would be what? Palin concluded with the thought that she could "be more effective in a decisive role to help elect other true public servants to office — from the nation’s governors to Congressional seats and the Presidency." I'd say the only way that was possible would be if she was aligned with the Democrats, because she'd political poison.
It really came as no surprise after Palin failed to announce in September — her one-time, self imposed deadline. She also indicated that the White House may not be in her wheel house, suggesting the presidential title might be too "shackle-y". Aside from not being a real word, you're too fucking incompetent for the most powerful office in the world if it's got too many "constraints".
Of course, as of yesterday Palin aides still did not know whether she was running and were calling various states to find out filing deadlines for the primaries. And that's what you get for surrounding yourself with simpletons and idiots. The aides, though I could see how you thought I could be talking about the GOP.
After months of speculation, she made her decision "after much prayer and serious consideration", which, if you're praying a lot to make a decision, then you'd better consider that seriously bad.
"My decision is based upon a review of what common sense Conservatives and Independents have accomplished, especially over the last year," she said. And other than creating a crowded field of sub-par candidates and birthing the most disliked political party since the National Socialists, that would be what? Palin concluded with the thought that she could "be more effective in a decisive role to help elect other true public servants to office — from the nation’s governors to Congressional seats and the Presidency." I'd say the only way that was possible would be if she was aligned with the Democrats, because she'd political poison.
It really came as no surprise after Palin failed to announce in September — her one-time, self imposed deadline. She also indicated that the White House may not be in her wheel house, suggesting the presidential title might be too "shackle-y". Aside from not being a real word, you're too fucking incompetent for the most powerful office in the world if it's got too many "constraints".
Of course, as of yesterday Palin aides still did not know whether she was running and were calling various states to find out filing deadlines for the primaries. And that's what you get for surrounding yourself with simpletons and idiots. The aides, though I could see how you thought I could be talking about the GOP.
Let's All Get The Same Girl Pregnant Tonight!
Just blasted through both seasons of The League in anticipation of Season 3, starting tonight after It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
They Might Be Giants, Rip Torn, And Bare Knuckle Fighting
It's no "Particle Man", but the combination of the three form the basis of the interweb.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Dead Lapre
Super-swarmy infomercial pitchman Don Lapre killed himself in prison this weekend, while awaiting trial for 41 counts of fraud and money laundering. The cause of death? Tiny classified ads.
Nearly a quarter million customers and investors sunk close to $52 million in Greatest Vitamin in the World of Phoenix, but only 5,000 victims were paid about $6.4 million in commission checks for selling vitamins and recruiting others to the business, while Lapre collected over $2.2 million between 2004 and 2007.
Mid-June, Lapre failed to show up for his arraignment, but was arrested later that month at a Life Time Fitness location, where he had reportedly lived for two days...and with serious self-inflicted knife wounds to his groin, . The wounds led authorities to believe Lapre was trying to commit suicide while at the Lifetime Fitness center by attempting to sever the femoral artery in his legs. Not quite the response from a guy who once said "...I really don't give a rat's ass about what people think about me."
Nearly a quarter million customers and investors sunk close to $52 million in Greatest Vitamin in the World of Phoenix, but only 5,000 victims were paid about $6.4 million in commission checks for selling vitamins and recruiting others to the business, while Lapre collected over $2.2 million between 2004 and 2007.
Mid-June, Lapre failed to show up for his arraignment, but was arrested later that month at a Life Time Fitness location, where he had reportedly lived for two days...and with serious self-inflicted knife wounds to his groin, . The wounds led authorities to believe Lapre was trying to commit suicide while at the Lifetime Fitness center by attempting to sever the femoral artery in his legs. Not quite the response from a guy who once said "...I really don't give a rat's ass about what people think about me."
Monday, October 3, 2011
Yo Dick, Yo Weed Be Safe
Governor Jerry Brown signed a flurry of bills as he headed towards an October 9th deadline, keeping your junk and your stash cool..and I'm not saying which is your junk and which is your stash.
Brown has hundreds more on his desk, but signed 44 measures and vetoed four bills Sunday, and among the laws he signed was creating new penalties for the sale of synthetic cannabis products. The strange but interesting part is that, while the products have effects similar to marijuana, the penalties for them now outweigh those for selling small amounts of weed. Anyone selling the synthetic could be fined $1,000 and face up to six months in jail, while sales of less than 28 ounces of marijuana carry no jail time and a maximum fine of $100.
The other major bill passed keeps local ordinances from prohibiting circumcision. It was drafted in response to a proposed San Francisco ballot measure that would have prohibited any foreskin cutting that was "not deemed medically necessary" in that city. While the proposed ordinance was struck from the ballot in June and a similar measure proposed in Santa Monica was later pulled back (pun?), this effectively keeps others from forcing parents to dress their boys in turtlenecks. And whether you personally would choose that for yourself or your child, parental rights and liberties are more important than your creepy fascination with other people's kid's dicks.
Brown has hundreds more on his desk, but signed 44 measures and vetoed four bills Sunday, and among the laws he signed was creating new penalties for the sale of synthetic cannabis products. The strange but interesting part is that, while the products have effects similar to marijuana, the penalties for them now outweigh those for selling small amounts of weed. Anyone selling the synthetic could be fined $1,000 and face up to six months in jail, while sales of less than 28 ounces of marijuana carry no jail time and a maximum fine of $100.
The other major bill passed keeps local ordinances from prohibiting circumcision. It was drafted in response to a proposed San Francisco ballot measure that would have prohibited any foreskin cutting that was "not deemed medically necessary" in that city. While the proposed ordinance was struck from the ballot in June and a similar measure proposed in Santa Monica was later pulled back (pun?), this effectively keeps others from forcing parents to dress their boys in turtlenecks. And whether you personally would choose that for yourself or your child, parental rights and liberties are more important than your creepy fascination with other people's kid's dicks.
Breaking Fever
This is what happens when Rybot plays a song all weekend and it gets stuck in your head...
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