Red Mercury

Saudi police are investigating the origins of a hoax that had hundreds of people believing that old sewing machines may bring fortune because they contained an elusive, and probably mythical, substance known as red mercury. Yes, this from the part of the world where marital rape is permissable.

Saudi newspapers published pictures of Saudis proudly posing next to old sewing machines awaiting prospective buyers at traditional markets. The English-language Saudi Gazette said some buyers were willing to pay up to 200,000 riyals ($50,000) for an old Singer sewing machine proven to contain red mercury. Proven how? With mobile phones, supposedly employed as instruments to prove the existence of the phony substance. That's a hoax-within-a-hoax! Popular (read: idiotic) belief in the Middle East has it that it can help uncover hidden gold treasures, though there are other theories which say it can be used to create a nuclear bomb.

"If the line cuts off when the telephone is placed close to the needle ... that proves the existence of the substance," Saudi Gazette said. Why am I not surprised that they won't test in parking garages or elevators? Another newsparer, Al-Eqtisadiah, said "poverty provided a fertile ground for the red mercury rumor to spread in Saudi society, especially the middle class."

"We have to find out who started this hoax. We cannot be 100% sure of getting in the short-term to the person or persons who started this," an interior ministry spokesman told the media, and then waved his cell phone over a pair of machines, hoping to strike it rich. "People hope to make profit. This is no different to cases of citizens who put their money in untrustworthy schemes," he added. Already, thousands of Saudi citizens have lost their life savings to financial scams consisting mainly of operations to raise money for real estate projects, but this genius way to take advantage of people with the ubiquious cell phone takes scams to a new level!

Other Mercury objects, ranked according to value:

Mercury

Mercury

Freddie Mercury

Mercury Insurance

Mercury Grand Marquis

Mercury

Mercury Rising