Nine More Actors Who Give The Same Performance Every Time

Another edition of what you see is what you get...every time.

Jerry Stiller
I was thinking of putting Ben Stiller here, but it's really his dad who is a one trick pony. If aliens landed on Earth and Jerry Stiller greeted them, they'd think every old man was a gruff curmudgeon with a kvetching issue. He's not so much quintessential as he is stereotypical, as far as I can tell he's been playing the same character for decades...and at what point is he "playing"?

Highlights: The Heartbreak Kid, Seinfeld, The King Of Queens

Exception: The Ritz


Michael Cera
Yes, we get it. You're the secretly cool, gawky, uncomfortable nerd who makes wry asides and is the modern hipster anti-hero. If Holden Caufield and a thrift store shirt had sex with indie rock, you'd be the offspring. And it's now a little thin. Perhaps your balls will drop, you'll fill out, and become a man instead of the posterboy man-child.

Highlights: Nick And Nora's Infinite Playlist, Superbad, Juno

Exception: Arrested Development


Michelle Rodriguez
Casting a Latina with a chip on her shoulder, snarl in her smile, and may possibly pee standing up? Then you're looking for Michelle Rodriguez. Where Rosie Perez took Latin women into whiny territory, and Jennifer Lopez tried to bleach them into divas, Rodriguez just plays it like a straight-up vato with a grande set of cojones. Yeah, masculine touches can make a girl interesting (Jessica Biel anyone?), but having some feminine qualities as an actress helps too.

Highlights: Girlfight, The Fast And The Furious, S.W.A.T., Resident Evil

Exception: Avatar (maybe)

Jason Statham
The strangest thing here is that, while he's in league with the likes of Van Damme and Seagal (or worse, Jeff Speakman, Oliver Gruner, or Lorenzo Lamas), he can actually pull off roles where acting is necessary. But choreographed fight scenes are much easier to pull off. "What's my motivation...oh yeah, punch that guy in the face"

Highlights: All three Transporter films, anything with Jet Li (The One / War / The Expendibles), the Crank series

Exception: Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels


Shia LeBeouf
Shia The Beef has been hailed as the younger generation's next...well, I don't know, but there's a lot of fuzz around him and without any good reason. The scrappy, kid next door routine doesn't sell me on him, and his excitability and chutzpah seem to go farther apart in each role. Pretty soon he'll just be pensively worked up and completely lacking charm.

Highlights: Disturbia, Transformers, Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Eagle Eye, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

Exception: an episode of ER, as a child with muscular dystrophy



Jackie Chan
This is kinda unfair, because Jackie Chan can't act. But he'll do the same thing in every movie. Mug for the camera. Speak horribly broken English that he attempted to learn phonetically. And pair him with another ethnicity in a fish-out-of-water action comedy - oh, that's gold. Long ago he was just a guy who did his own stunts and would break a few bones and get a concussion. Now he's just a goofy

Highlights: Rush Hour 1, 2 and 3, the Shanghai movies with Owen Wilson (Noon, Knights, whenever)

Exception: Drunken Master 2


Jennifer Garner
If looking serious, pouty and upset were in the college curriculum, she'd be teaching the master's course. Sure, she can tone it down and give it a little professional flourish (Juno) or grit (The Kingdom), but it's just tempering the same emotion for each role. She hasn't had the same lemon-sucking sour-puss regiment of Renee Zellweger, but there's a good chance that a few more years of citrus will make her sad lips curl even more.

Highlights: Alias, Electra, Daredevil

Exception: 13 Going On 30


Nic Cage
In an age long ago in Hollywood, Nicky Coppola was considered an actor and not a star. But slowly, he developed a style that was equal parts solemn, manic, laconic, confused, inquisitive, cocky, and anguished - all getting screen time and each one unpredictably possible to be next.

Highlights: The Wicker Man, 8mm, Face Off, National Treasure, Ghost Rider, The Rock

Exception: Raising Arizona, Wild At Heart


Ashton Kutcher
Whenever he speaks, it's almost like he's surprised that words came out of his mouth, and when he realizes he managed to form a sentence, he's elated with goofy glee. It's like his switch is stuck on adolescent. I'd just as well buy Stallone doing Shakespeare or Hellen Mirren in an action comedy before believing any role Kutcher plays. And double damn him for punching Demi Moore kitty, though I think that was just a MILF f-u to her daughters, banging their bedroom wall posterboy.

Highlights: What Happens In Vegas, That 70's Show

Exception: None