To everyone who still thinks wrestling is fake, well, it is. But it doesn't mean they're still not trying to inject realism into the sport. Multiple champion and meatcake Chris Benoit smothered and strangled his wife and young son over the weekend before hanging himself in his weight room.No motive has been established, although steroid use has often been linked to depression, paranoia, and outbursts of rage. Steroid use also increases sex drive, shrinks the testes, causes acne, and in the case of wrestlers, drives them to use turnbuckles, folding chairs, and belts as weapons.
There is no definite connection to steroids in this case, but c'mon...that dude is yoked. Maybe the kid hid his MetRx bars or Mrs. Benoit had a pair of balls she preferred to the Mr.'s (you see, because Benoit is pronounced ben-WAH and that's also a sex toy name -- man you people are stupid sometimes). It's all very tragic though, because Benoit could have done a double reverse suplex off the top rope to end it -- something flashy to suit his showmanship.
No arrangements have been made, but prepare for a pay-per-view steel cage battle royal funeral to be announced soon.
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