Paul Is Dead Artistically

In the era of corporate crossovers and collaborative marketing, Starbucks has proven that not only folks will pay $2 for a 25¢ cup of coffee, but they'll fish another $15 out for a CD if they don't get a banana nut scone.

The latest disc to take up counter space is the fantastic new album from Paul McCartney. Fantastically over-hyped and needless. Memory Almost Full is a wasteful reminiscing by Paul McCartney's in an attempt to be insightful as he heads into the twilight. The album is also the first release by Starbucks on their Hear Music label, hence their dedication to pumping units out to caffeine addicts. Songs from the disc will be played on continuous loop throughout the day at all Starbucks locations, likely as a punishment to everybody who wishes Paul stopped after Let It Be.

Starbucks entertainment division president Ken Lombard stated, "Once we heard the album ... we just knew this was a phenomenal record. It's such a reflection of his life and his career, I mean, the ups and downs and the recognition of really what a remarkable journey it has been. So it was really for us the perfect fit."

Take a moment to breathe that in.

Okay, once you get past the fact a coffee company has an entertainment division, look at the idiotic nonsense el presidente says. What ups and downs is he talking about? The struggle of being in the biggest band in the world? Having three separate successful musical endeavours? Marring both a photography heiress and a model? Having more money than he can ever spend in his life? And honestly, how does that reflect so much of Starbucks that its the "perfect fit" for them? I hope he gets crushed under a coffee bean avalanche for being a typical corporate marketing stooge.

I wonder what Danita McGuiness is going to do. She was a cute neo-hippie in high school who loved the Beatles and the environment, and I wonder if her green ways will stall her at the door of Starbucks, or if she'll muster up the strength to weather the corporate atmosphere and get her beloveds new disc. I think there was a Twilight Zone episode with the same premise.