Priorities Please, People

The interweb and the media are ablaze as America's sweetheart, Paris Hilton, ended her 45 day jail sentence after serving only 3 days of a reduced 23 day term. Or five days by the LA Sheriff's count, if you add the late night check-in Sunday and her early morning check-out Thursday. Fat, unshaven twenty-somethings blogging in their studio apartments and morning show DJs are incensed over her early dismissal for "medical reasons" and subsequent 40 day house arrest. Soon, water coolers everywhere will be buzzing about it.

Rather than waste your valuable time and mine pondering whether herpes is a valid medical excuse to leave prison, or if it was the only jail without a hospital facility, I want to try and beat the ennui backlash to the current outrage. And I suggest you do the same. What Paris, Britney, or Lindsay does is 100% unimportant, and the only reason to even dare spend time thinking about them is to mock and insult their stupidity. Getting drunk, having indiscriminate sex, dinging up your car -- that's not celebrity behavior...that was college. I'm all for schadenfreude, but that's the side dish, not the main course.

If you want some real outrage, get on board my anger wagon because they moved Deadwood season 3's release back a week at the last moment.

ps. If you must reflect on Miss Superstar Jailbird, the best place to do it is What Would Tyler Durden Do?. Even in you don't need to reflect on it, go to What Would Tyler Durden Do?.