Damien Is A Good Name For A Boy

The rumor mill is a buzz with the story that the Mr. and Mrs. Bag may have a spawn in the oven.

Bag of bones Nicole Richie and her douchebag boyfriend Joel Madden (of the terrible Good Charlotte) could be the proud parents of the Antichrist. Although debate ensues over the validity of the pregnancy or whether the Dark Lord already exists in the form of one of the Spears-Federline anklebiters, many observers agree that the pregnancy (if real) may be a ploy to avoid jail time. On a side note, I think I may have found an alternative to society performing chemical castrations to sex offenders -- have them witness Richie and Madden and their clumsy, grotesque mating ritual.

Some may recall that Richie faces potential jail time stemming from a DUI arrest earlier this year where she was apprehended parked on the wrong side of the freeway high and with drugs. Seeing how well her whore-pal Paris fended against the penal system, it begins to make sense that the anorexic celebutant may look to avoid the same. Personally, I hope she is pregnant, just so I can start taking wagers on the over / under if the baby will weigh more or less than the mother.

I tried the same pregnancy decoy once too, but Coach Lufkin didn't buy it and still made me do the rope climb in gym class. I had the third best time. Not bad for an expectant mother.