Friday, September 30, 2011

Dollar Dollar Bills

In the House Of Representatives, there is a movement to replace the traditional $1 bill with metal coins. While I like the idea of winging strippers with chunky coins, it's just not practical...

The Currency Optimization, Innovation and National Savings (COINS) Act (how clever) last week, which would require the Federal Reserve Banks to end production of the $1 paper currency within four years of passage.

The nonpartisan Government Accountability Office found that replacing paper money with coins would save the federal government $5.5 billion over the next three decades, but there's a counter-bill to keep that from happening. The Currency Efficiency Act is aimed at preserving the paper dollar bill due to lack of demand for the coin. In fact, there are over $1 billion worth of extra $1 coins sitting idle in vaults, set to double over the next several years.

Let's not get too political, but it should be mentioned that Crane & Co, the company contracted to supply the paper used to make American currency, is based in Massachusetts, where the bi-partisan paper currency measure's authors are also from.

ThunderLOLCats

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Dap Bros


Henry The Worst and some best buds.




Reebok has agreed to pay $25 million to settle unsupported claims their "toning shoes" could make fat asses less so.

Reebok's advertisements said the shoes strengthened hamstrings and calves by up to 11% more than regular sneakers, and toned the buttocks up to 28% more. That was based on clever salesmen, and not any real studies.

The ads were pulled once an investigation was launched into the claims, though Adidas, who owns Reebok, disagreed with the FTC and stood behind the shoes. The toning shoes were designed to be slightly unstable, and the instability requires the wearer to work harder, thus strengthening muscles. But 11 to 28 percent more?

Since 2009, they've sold millions of pairs in the United States alone, which likely covers the consumer refunds. Competitors like New Balance, Skechers, Ryka and Avia sell similar types of footwear that can fetch up to $300...and lawsuits are forthcoming regarding their products.

American Juggalo


Totally unrelated, but happy birthday to Famous Sister!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Native American Women Eat For Free!


UC Berkeley students and locals are condemning a campus Republican group's "satirical" diversity bake sale, which offered pastry prices based on race and gender. This is shocking...I had no idea there were Republicans at UC Berkeley.

Student senators said the bake sale was discriminatory in a 19-0 vote. The event was planned as a protest against a bill on Governor Jerry Brown's desk that would allow California public universities to consider race, ethnicity and gender in student admissions. Wait, they don't already?

The group said items for white customers cost $2; for Asians, $1.50; for Latinos, $1; for black customers, 75 cents, and for Native Americans, a quarter. Women get a 25-cent discount.

For the history buffs, the Berkeley College Republicans pulled this same stunt eight years ago.

Airquakes


If the ground moves, better check the sky.

Geologists have set up monitoring stations in earthquake zones connected to satellites registering upper atmosphere and ionosphere data during an earthquake, and are noticing a correlation.

In the days before the March 11th Tohoku earthquake in Japan, the total electron content of the ionosphere increased dramatically over the epicentre, reaching a maximum three days before the quake. At the same time, satellite observations showed an increase in infrared emissions from above the epicentre, peaking in the hours before the quake. Non-scientist translation: the atmosphere was heating up.

The phenomenon would also lend credence to the observations of bright orange sunsets or dense air before earthquakes - what people sometimes call "earthquake weather"

Fu-Man Drew's Workout


Who says hockey players don't have a sense of humor?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Paper Horses


Brooklyn artist Jonathan Brand constructed every single part of a 1969 Mustang coupe at 1:1 scale out of nothing but paper. It's on display at the Hosfelt Gallery in New York, September 20-October 29.







Snow Capped Mountains

Snow is not falling on the beaches as much as it used to according to the Miami Herald. Capitalizing on the research findings by the Center for the Study and Prevention of Substance Abuse at the hard-to-believe-its-a-real-college-with-the-silly-name Nova Southeastern University, Floridians don't want to keep paying high prices for low-quality blow. Um, duh! Still, Miami's partiers are also turning to prescription pills instead of nose candy.

And now, a blockquote from the Miami New Times 2005 series on the Miami cocaine trade for some historical perspective:
"The amount of money produced by Miami's coke industry in the Eighties was unlike anything ever seen in the nation's history. So much cash was pouring into town from the wholesale and retail sectors of the trade that its sheer bulk presented logistical problems for the banks enthusiastically and unquestioningly accepting it. The U.S. Treasury Department made a couple of startling calculations: A full-size suitcase stuffed with twenty-dollar bills could hold roughly a half-million dollars, yet many millions were being deposited every day. How to count it all? Also this: Analysis indicated that, in 1978 and 1979, the United States' entire currency surplus could be ascribed to Miami-area banks."
“The cocaine trade became synonymous with the city through pop culture. In 1983, Scarface immortalized the glamour and danger of the criminal business through Al Pacino's character Tony Montana, whose violent takeover of a Miami cartel turned him into a cult hero. Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989, made a hero of a white sport-coated Don Johnson as he battled drug criminals funded by the big-money cartels. Later, the 2006 documentary Cocaine Cowboys became a runaway hit as it rehashed the coke scene's over-the-top glamour and violence. Crime novels by Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen, set among the Miami underworld, also helped popularize the scene."
Even at $40 per gram for an inferior product, people are turning to the increasingly (medically) legal marijuana and prescriptives for their buzz in Florida. But in Colorado, they're still skiing.

A routine traffic stop led to the discovery of 220 pounds of cocaine, which is worth about $10 million on the street. Don't ask how I know that. Mark Bailey and Lisa Calderon were arrested in Pueblo after a patrol officer was tipped about a car making an illegal lane change on Interstate 25. What is an illegal lane change, and how big does it need to be to get someone to tip off a cop? Like switching across 5 lanes...in reverse?

The highway, about 115 miles south of Denver, has long been a drug-smuggling corridor, and Bailey's revoked driver's license didn't help. had been revoked. When the officer noticed that the back of the car appeared to be weighed down, a drug-sniffing dog was brought to the scene. A search of the trunk uncovered four black duffel bags stuffed with bricks of cocaine.

It seems like a bummer to think of the dull, subdued Colorado locale as home to the next wave of coke parties. Miami really had the beach / weather / half-naked sluts thing going to help that party vibe.

Entourage Should Have Ended Like This


(But if you must know what happened, this is a pretty accurate take on how colossally shitty the whole series has been, with the finale being no exception.)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Money Does Grow On Trees


In several wooded areas around the United Kingdom, folks have been stopping for decades (or longer) to hammer small denominations of coins into the trees for luck and the hope to cure their ills.





Insignificant Expensive Things

Owners of a handwritten letter by reclusive writer J.D. Salinger hope to sell the document for $50,000. Should they expect that much for the one sentence long letter?

Writing in nearly illegible cursive on stationery bearing his initials, The Catcher In The Rye author penned the letter to his maid. Autographed Salinger items are considered exceedingly rare, but $50,000 rare? Salinger was so guarded about his personal life that he filed a suit to block the publication of a biography based in part on his private letters. He also did not own a telephone and shunned contact with his fans.

The full letter dated March 12, 1989 reads, "Dear Mary -- Please make sure all the errands are done before you go on vacation, as I do not want to be bothered with insignificant things. Thank you. J.D. Salinger".

Only an asshole would spend that kind of money for this letter.

Like Mars Blackmon Said, "It's Gotta Be The Shoes"


Monday, September 12, 2011

Hollywood, Past And Present

Computer Crystal Balls

By feeding a supercomputer with news stories, it was able to help predict major world events. Great...AI with ESP.

The study used millions of articles that were fed into the SGI Altix supercomputer (known as Nautilus) at the University of Tennessee. With 1024 Intel Nehalem cores, the machine recorded processing power of 8.2 teraflops (a trillion floating point operations per second).

Information was taken from a range of sources, including the US Open Source Centre and BBC Monitoring (both monitor local media output around the world), as well as news outlets that published online versions and archives. With more than 100 million articles, they were analysed for two main types of information: mood – whether the article represented good news or bad news, and location – where events were happening and the location of other participants in the story.

Mood detection searched for words such as "terrible", "horrific" or "nice", while locational geocoding took mentions of specific places and converted them in to coordinates that could be plotted on a map. By analysing story elements, an interconnected web of almost 100 trillion relationships was formed.

Based on specific search queries, Nautilus then generated graph. For the different countries which experienced the "Arab Spring" revolts, in each case the aggregated results showed a notable dip in sentiment ahead of time – both inside the country, and as reported from outside. Aside from results charting ahead of the recent revolutions in Libya and Egypt, the system also picked up early clues about Osama Bin Laden’s location.

In the best case scenario for the future, your computer will order your pizza before you even know you want it. In the worst, well...use your imagination.

Shooting With No Permits And No Permission


You can get the details on how they pulled off this shoot here.  Reminds me of somebody else who made a video guerrilla style...

Friday, September 9, 2011

A Heartwarming Story

Congrats to 25-year-old Brian McCarthy who won $107 million in July's Mega Millions lottery!

Brian bought his winning ticket on a whim after withdrawing money from an ATM at a grocery store in McLean, Virginia. It was only after seeing he'd won on Facebook, that he spoke with his grandmonther, who replied, "You deserve it. Can I make you a grilled cheese sandwich?" How sweet!

Brian opted for the single payment of $68.4 million, which he'll use to take a buy a BMW M3 and go on a golf trip to Ireland.

Oh, and he's the son of Marriott, Inc. Group's President Robert J. McCarthy, who earned $1.2 million in 2009. Motherfucker.

Their New Horn Section Isn't Brass, It's Metal

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Elite Apple Juice And Graham Cracker Institution

Here's a giant fuck you to the Trinity School in New York, which is more difficult to get into than Harvard. Because trust fund babies and aristocratic little snot-noses need to start somewhere, right? The Week has this sickening statistical comparison:

• Number of kindergarten seats at the Trinity School, "one of New York's most competitive schools": 62

• Number of applicants for those 62 seats: 762

• Number of kindergarten seats automatically filled by siblings of Trinity students: 33

• Number of kindergarten seats that automatically went to children of alumni, "who also get a leg up": 11

• Number of kindergarten seats that automatically went to the child of a Trinity staff member: 1

• Number of spaces remaining for the 711 prospective kindergarteners from families with no previous ties to Trinity: 17

• Percentage chance that each of those prospective kindergarteners would secure one of the 17 remaining seats: 2.4

• Percentage acceptance rate at Harvard University: 6.4

• Number of freshmen admitted into Harvard's fall class: 2,158

• Number of applicants for that class: 34,950

• Cost of yearly tuition at Trinity School: $36,870

• Cost of yearly tuition at Harvard University: $36,305

Delicious Schweddy Balls

Thanks to Ben & Jerry's, you can have Schweddy Balls dripping down your chin.

The company announced their newest ice cream flavor today - vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum & loaded with fudge covered rum & malt balls. The Schweddy Balls name comes from the Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin, Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer. Baldwin plays Pete Schweddy, owner of a bakery, while Shannon and Gasteyer play NPR radio hosts interviewing him for their food show. While the sketch is a 5 minute ball joke, was one of the more memorable in years and follows the company's foray into comedy-inspired flavors. Earlier this year they released Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack and Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream.

The flavor is being released in a limited batch, meaning it will be distributed nationwide but only for a few months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming.

Локомотив в память


On Thursday night, Dynamo Minsk skated out on the ice for a tribute to their fallen opponents, Lokomotiv Yaroslavl.

Huge portraits of the players and staff were placed on the ice, as a requiem mass was performed by an orchestra.  Part of the tribute included Dynamo players firing pucks into empty nets in honor of each member of Lokomotiv. Later, flowers were placed inside the goals in their memory.

In memory of:  Vitaly Anikeenko; Yuri Bahvalov; Alexander Belyaev; Mikhail Balandin; Alexander Vasyunov; Joseph Vashichek; Alexander E. Vyuhin; Robert Genrikhovich Ditrih; Pavol Demitra; Andrey Zimin; Marat Natfullovich Kalimulin; Alexander G. Karpovtsev; Alexander I. Kalyanin; Andrey Kiryuhin; Nikita Klyukin; Igor Borisovich Korolev; Nikolai Krivonosov; Evgeny Kunnov; Vyacheslav Mikhailovich Kuznetsov; Stephen Daniel Patrick Liv; Jan Marek; Brad Byron MacCrimmon; Sergey I. Ostapchuk; Vladimir Leonidovich Piskunov; Karel Rahunek; Ruslan Salei; Evgeny Sidorov; Karlis Martinovic Skrastinsh; Pavel Snurnitsyn; Daniel E. Sobchenko; Gennady S. Churilov; Maxim A. Shuvalov; Artem Nikolaevich Yarchuk.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Here's a little nugget from an interview with subversive artist Ron English about the the documentary(?) by Banksy, Exit Through The Gift Shop:
Here's what actually happened: When we first met Thierry, he was supposed to be making a movie about Shepard. He was filming Shepard all the time, wherever he went. They made a deal, 50/50, we'll make a movie. They shot for five years doing this, Shepard in his Spiderman prime, leaping off buildings and stuff. At the end of five years, Shepard says "Alright, let's put the movie together," and Thierry said "I'm not giving you the footage." He's actually quite smart and can be a little devious-he figured "I just took away five years of your fame," because in his heart, Thierry always wanted to be the artist. He figured he was messing up his competition, in a way, and holding onto valuable footage. Shepard didn't quite know what to do and filed a lawsuit against Thierry.
Then Banksy figured "I'm in the same situation, he has tons of footage for me." He had some of the only footage of Banksy where you could actually see who he was. So he calls up Thierry and said "I'm sending you a first-class ticket to London, get on the plane, I have to talk to you." That's when he told Thierry that he would make a movie about him instead, in exchange for the footage, which Thierry turned over to Banksy. That's when they realized that the footage wasn't nearly what they thought it might be, but it turns out they did get a different sort of treasure trove, because you've got a portrait of this weird guy, Thierry.
Banksy is as smart as people think he is, and then some."

Empty Net


"This is the darkest day in the history of our sport. This is not only a Russian tragedy, the Lokomotiv roster included players and coaches from 10 nations. This is a terrible tragedy for the global ice hockey community."

-- Rene Fasel, president of the International Ice Hockey Federation

Being a hockey fan is becoming more and more heartbreaking...

Today, an aging Russian jet carrying the KHL hockey team Lokomotiv Yaroslavl hit a beacon antenna and crashed while taking off, killing 37 passengers and eight crew. The team was traveling to their season opening game against Dynamo Minsk. Only one crew member and player Alexander Galimov survived the crash. Galimov is hospitalized with burns to 80% of his body.

Among the NHL alumni who perished: Pavol Demitra (St. Louis Blues, Minnesota Wild, Vancouver Canucks, and one-time L.A Kings forward); Ruslan Salei(Anaheim Ducks, Detroit Red Wings and Colorado Avalanche defenseman; Josef Vasicek (New York Islanders and Carolina Hurricanes forward); Karel Rachunek (New Jersey Devils defenseman); Karlis Skrastins(Dallas Stars defenseman); and Stefan Liv (Detroit Red Wings goalie prospect).


Other victims of the crash included head coach Brad McCrimmon (a former Detroit Red Wings and Philadelphia Flyers defenseman); assistant coach Alexander Karpovtsev (former New York Rangers defenseman); and assistant coach Igor Korolev (who played for the Toronto Maple Leafs and Chicago Blackhawks).

UPDATE: Puck Daddy has some great words about the lost NHL players.

Yes To The Dark SIde


Maybe we were too harsh on Lucas for the changes he's making...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

xxx.xxx

It's time to get your XXX on! The .xxx domain is the first to be approved for commercial use since since .co was in July 2010.

Registered trademark and brand holders will get the opportunity tomorrow to secure .xxx domains, and on the cheap! Top-level domains usually cost around $50 a year to retain a URL, but the ICM Registry (who gives the domains to third parties like GoDaddy and Network Solutions) will let brands purchase their .xxx domains for a one time $200 fee. They have 50 days to claim their domain. After that period, there will be a 17-day period where domains are sold exclusively to the adult entertainment industry, and that's where the interweb land grab will really take effect.

Aside from all the permutations of "teen babysitter" getting registered, it's a genius move to open up the purchase to trademark holders, who will likely purchase www.mcdonalds.xxx or www.apple.xxx just to keep the domains off limits to others. There's a lot of brands out there, and at $200 a pop...

How The Girl Scout Cookie Sales Crumble

King Queen


Google's doodle yesterday linked to this tribute to Freddie Mercury on what would have been his 65th birthday.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Skull Nickels


I was unaware there was such a thing as carved coins called Hobo Nickels, but with the introduction of the Buffalo nickel, the soft metal made it easier to deface the coin...and some took it to a darker realm





Cancergirl

The Real Housewives of Who Gives A Fuck's Bethenny Frankel created Skinnygirl Margarita, a low-cal alcohol that adds a little special flavor from a preservative that can cause cancer. I hope she was serious in her tweet when she said she’d be starting off the weekend enjoying a Skinnygirl Margarita. And drinking and drinking...

The bottle may read "the margarita you can trust", but try telling Whole Foods that, who are taking the drink out of the 16 markets that stock it. One of it's ingredients is the preservative sodium benzoate - conveniently no listed on the bottle on the bottle - that when combined with an ascorbic acid like citrus (in a margarita - what are the chances?), it can form a carcinogen known as benzene.

Now, there are plenty of things that are bad for you, and even more that you're enjoying which companies won't disclose, but it's a fantastic new low to completely deny the claims. "With all due respect to Whole Foods...they represent an infinitesimal fraction of our business. We represent the largest growing spirits brand in the US...and everyone tries to tear down a success. This is a non-event," Frankel said.

You products can cause cancer and your response it to tout how successful your company is and call the potential health risk a non-event? I pray there is a class-action lawsuit in the future to bitchslap Frankel so hard, no amount of plastic surgery could make her look right.

First Response

Friday, September 2, 2011

Apple PD

When I was a young nerd, me and the boys would play us some AD&D, but would mix in a little Cyberpunk when we needed to trade swords for automatic sidearms. And we had no idea how prophetic it would be...

Among the street samurai and fixers were mega-corporations and their private armies to do their bidding. Apparently, we've caught up with the future, because Apple has their security force dictating orders to the local police.

Much like the last iPhone release, Apple's idiot staff can't seem to keep their secret toys from getting lost. Hoping to find their prototype, two Apple "security officials" searched Sergio Calderón's home. The problem is, it was SFPD who initiated the visit, and misled Calderón into thinking all six badge-wearing visitors were city police. "When they came to my house, they said they were SFPD," he said. "I thought they were SFPD. That's why I let them in."

Initially, statements by the SFPD indicated that no records existed of police involvement in the search, but they changed their tune and admitted that plainclothes officers accompanied two Apple security officials. They stood outside while the Apple employees scoured Calderón's home, car, and computer files for the lost iPhone 5, which was not found and Calderón denies that he ever possessed it.

Of course, Apple has no comment, but here in California, impersonating a police officer can get you up to a year of jail time. I'm hoping both Apple and the SFPD take the appropriate heat over this, because the unchecked control that corporations have over the authorities this represents is frightening.

Schwarzenegger, Milius, and Conan

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Dead Guy Hat Trick

Hockey fans should be happy there's not a strike protracted off-season, or there'd be no more players left.

Wade Belak was the third NHL player to kill himself during in as many months. He follows other enforcers Rick Rypien and Derek Boogaard who also suffered from combinations of depression and protracted pain from the rigors of playing. The league issued a statement saying that while each case is unique the "tragic events cannot be ignored", while pledging to review the substance abuse and behavioral health programs available to players. "We want individuals to feel comfortable seeking help when they need help," the statement said.

Suicide has struck all over sports in recent months: former Baltimore Orioles pitcher Mike Flanagan, U.S. Olympic aerial skier Jeret "Speedy" Peterson, former New York Yankees pitcher Hideki Irabu, former Duke basketball captain Thomas Emma; Austrian Olympic judoka Claudia Heill, former Pro Bowl safety Dave Duerson and former San Jose Sharks farmhand Tom Cavanagh.

It's hard to show weakness and deal with issues in a culture of winning and toughness, but even champions and elite athletes have the same struggles as the average fan. In other news, Michael Vick signed a contract worth $100 million, so either he's real happy or may be a threat to himself.