HRM Animal Farm

Live pigs are being blown up as part of a series of British government terrorism experiments at Porton Down, the government’s secret military research laboratory. I don't care how you feel about animal experimentation, because that's cool as shit.

Eighteen pigs wrapped in protective Kevlar blankets were blasted in a bid to help scientists understand more about the effects of bomb blasts on victims. The animals were placed less than three yards from an explosive. Before being blown up, tubes were inserted into their blood vessels and bladders, and their spleens were removed. Don't ask why - that's just science. And for kicks, a wire was also put into a major abdominal blood vessel to ensure the vessel became lacerated in the explosion.

The Kevlar blankets were used to protect the animals from minor bomb debris and the animals were anaesthetised throughout. Scientists wanted to find out how long the animals survived when more than a third of their blood had drained from their bodies. Funny, I tried that with some teenage hitchhikers and I couldn't get the government to fund that.

Medics hope the experiments will help British soldiers in Afghanistan as well as casualties of terror attacks like the July 2005 bombing of the London Underground and a double-decker bus. In particular these results should help them understand how to control hemorrhaging in bomb blast victims.

No pigs survived the experiments. The remaining bacon usage was unknown.