First Weekend Of The New Year

Happy new year, kids. We should look forward to what's to come, but first let's get past some of the events of the past week.

Best of the week: There's gonna be a Paddy's Pub!

It’s widely rumored that Rob McElhenny — one of the creators of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and who plays Mac on the show — has purchased a bar in the Old City neighborhood of Philadelphia just around the corner from where the fictional Paddy’s Pub on the show is located. The bar — formerly Anthony’s, then Skinner’s — will be named Mac’s Old Towne Tavern and co-owned by McElhenny’s wife Kaitlin Olson, who plays Sweet Dee on “Sunny.”

And if you're curious, here's the theoretical location of the fictional Paddy's Pub.

Also: Attorneys for an exotic animal dealer have accused an employee of intentionally neglecting animals to further his work as an undercover investigator for animal rights group PETA. Remember, the "E" stands for ethical.

Howard Goldman could have done more to provide food, water and care for the animals that he said were being mistreated, said an attorney for Jasen and Vanessa Shaw, the owners of U.S. Global Exotics. Instead, Goldman secretly took photos and made daily reports to send to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

"He was more concerned about helping PETA achieve its goal of putting U.S. Global out of business than actually aiding any animals that he felt were in distress". Goldman worked at the Arlington facility for seven months. U.S. Global Exotics is trying to regain custody of more than 26,000 animals seized by the city after Goldman turned over evidence describing what he said was animal cruelty. Officials have said the raid turned up starving snakes, hundreds of reptiles packed in shipping crates and rodents that had killed and eaten each other. Goldman testified last week that PETA asked him to apply for a job at U.S. Global Exotics to investigate conditions. PETA paid him $135 for each day he turned in a report while working as snake caretaker.

The attorney asked Goldman on why he did not follow a posted list of duties in the snake room and let snakes go for weeks without food or water or clean cages. Goldman said 1,500 to 3,000 snakes were under his care at any given time. He said he did everything he could for the animals but the Shaws would not pay for the food, medical and other supplies he requested.

"We never had the proper amount of food. The snakes would go two or three weeks without even being offered food," Goldman testified. "There were days I found hundreds of snakes dead."

Paul Boiko, another U.S. Global employee, testified Monday that most animals were fed and watered regularly and a veterinarian visited once a week. Boiko said some animals were not fed before being packaged to avoid problems during shipping. And, in a practice he described as standard in the industry, animals like turtles and iguanas were kept in cold conditions to force hibernation so they wouldn't eat or move much.

Plus: Comedy Central won't be renewing "The Jeff Dunham Show" for a second season. The show, featuring "comedian" Dunham and his repertoire of puppets, initially drew 5.3 million viewers, a season premiere record for Comedy Central. But most of the reviews were terrible, and ratings dwindled during the season. The ventriloquist’s clunky sitcom had Dunham and his puppets heckling “real people” in the “real world”.

Dunham himself would probably rather go about his rather lucrative business with the fans in person than spend time on a second TV season dealing with critics who don’t seem to like him very much at all. Shockingly, he grossed $38 million just in ticket sales last year, plus millions more in merchandise sales.

“Tosh.0″ gets a second season and the “The Jeff Dunham Show” gets canceled? We do live in a wonderful age!

Best picture of the week:

log on, thug out

Best bonus links:
• Facebook Fugitive Taunts Cops With Pictures And Status Updates - That takes balls. to bad he didn't originally use those smarts to not get caught in the first place.
• Lawyer: Sheen's Wife Wants to Reconcile, Calls Incident Bad Night - No shit that was a bad night. Or as anyone around Charlie Sheen calls it, "Friday".

• Lil Wayne has hometown farewell show before jail - Enjoy prison, you thug-ass punk!

Worst of the week: Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh left a hospital in Hawaii on Friday after a heart scare, and took a veiled swipe at President Barack Obama's plans to reform health care. Motherfucker won't die, and even uses it to grandstand his venom.

Limbaugh said doctors had found nothing wrong with his heart -- despite severe chest pains he suffered midweek. What, they said his heart was fine, or that he was fine without a heart?

"I have been treated to the best health care the world has to offer -- that is right here in the United States," Limbaugh said. Lots of folks wish you didn't have any access. He declined to take questions, saying he did not want to get into a political discussion in a hospital setting, despite his loaded comments about the health care system."I don't think there is one thing wrong with the American health care system it is working just fine, just dandy."

Limbaugh said that a battery of tests including an angiogram had found "absolutely nothing wrong" with his heart and not arterial disease. Even though we will soon find out it's not the case - hopefully when he dies of a massive coronary. You can use his past denials and then admission to a pain killer addiction. Limbaugh and Dick Cheney...that's my wish list for this year's dead.

Also: Authorities say a man who called 911 claiming he'd been beaten and shot at was hoping the tale would get him a ride to a bar. Instead, 37-year-old Gregory J. Oras is facing charges of misusing the 911 system and battery of a law enforcement officer. Another week, another 911 incident.

An arrest report says Oras called 911 three times before his arrest in Oldsmar, northwest of Tampa (Florida...of course it would be). He told the dispatcher he had a broken nose and bleeding ears, and claimed people were shooting at him. As it turns out he was actually looking for a ride to another bar. The report also says Oras kicked a Pinellas County sheriff's deputy in the knees and a Taser was used to subdue him.

Plus: A man savagely killed a dog, ran naked through a tennis club and poured hot coffee on his head before he was finally arrested in the early morning.

Bayron Reyes Lopez (26) of San Clemente, was hospitalized after being captured at the tennis club where he worked as a maintenance man. Deputies got the first call about the man at 4:30 a.m. when there were reports of a loud radio at his apartment. Deputies believe he jumped from a third-story window to get away, and was unhurt.

Just after 6 a.m. Judy Donnelley called to say a "strange" man had approached her, and when her 5-year-old mini schnauzer named Coco intervened, the man killed the dog, hitting, choking and "repeatedly beating her on asphalt in front of me." Minutes later, other callers reported a naked man running through the Rancho San Clemente Tennis Club and pouring hot coffee on his head. That's where deputies caught up with him.

Lopez was initially hospitalized but "will be, at the least, booked for cruelty to animals," they said. He was being tested to determine if he was under the influence of any drugs or narcotics, so other charges were also possible.

Worst picture of the week:

this little fag-muffin is more than half my age...and makes twice as much

Worst bonus links:
• Polanski In 'Full Comfort' At Chalet, Thanks Supporters - Fugitive rapists should always be enjoying themselves.
• Colorado's Minimum Wage Becomes 1st In US To Drop - Here's your bonus for a shitty paying job!
• Mom Fights To Be Buried With Soldier Son - Instead of forcing your way into a veteran's cemetery, just have him buried with you somewhere else.
• Ralf Schumacher 'Turned Down' F1 Comeback - I'm so sure there was a demand for him. He must be confusing himself with his brother.
• Bicentennial Anxiety: Why Mexicans Are Wary of 2010 - It's mutual...the bicentennial is wary of Mexicans.