One of my best friends growing up was Jeff "Chunk" Cohen, and it was very cool that he was involved with The Goonies. The movie became one of those midnight showing specials and movies that most adults recalled fondly from their youth, and it had additional sentimental meaning for me. Until now.
While a sequel to The Goonies has been dead and reanimated more than a comic book villain, director Richard Donner has been trying to turn the property into a Broadway musical. Itshould may never happen, but we might have a preview of what that might sound like. Rob Dean has been writing songs for a Goonies musical with his friend Keith Doughty, way before it ever became a thought in Donner’s mind...and to think, this is what they came up with? They are completely fan created, and not in anyway connected with Donner or the actual Broadway musical, but that's a disclaimer, not an excuse.
Back in 10th grade, we had a project for English class where we had to adapt a part of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar and present it for the class. My friends and I went overboard and did an overview of the whole play, and we set it to music. Heavy Toga performed to a couple of classes in the auditorium, and we basically set lyrics about the story to music by Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Golden Earring and Rush. As badly as we raped those songs and the work of The Bard, we're nowhere close to the damage these musical theater rejects have done. The Goonies is officially ruined by the existence of this terrible shit. At least the only harm I did was to my chances of getting laid in high school...
Sloth’s Song:
While a sequel to The Goonies has been dead and reanimated more than a comic book villain, director Richard Donner has been trying to turn the property into a Broadway musical. It
Back in 10th grade, we had a project for English class where we had to adapt a part of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar and present it for the class. My friends and I went overboard and did an overview of the whole play, and we set it to music. Heavy Toga performed to a couple of classes in the auditorium, and we basically set lyrics about the story to music by Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Golden Earring and Rush. As badly as we raped those songs and the work of The Bard, we're nowhere close to the damage these musical theater rejects have done. The Goonies is officially ruined by the existence of this terrible shit. At least the only harm I did was to my chances of getting laid in high school...
Sloth’s Song:
Oh no, this isn't what I wanted at all
Chained up here against the wall
By the ones that I love
Oh no, this isn't what I wanted to be
A model of repugnancy
Is this all that is meant for me?
Oh.No.
I used to have crazy dreams
This isn't what its supposed to be
Darkness is all that I see and I wanna be free
Yeah I wanna be, wanna be free
I'm just a little boy lost
A deformed man they call Sloth
Someone please cut these chains
I just want to be the same
As everyone I see
Talkin to me on the TV
Oh mama, why don't you love me?
Is it just that I'm too ugly?
What do you see when you look at me
Look at me, go on and look at me.
Taking It Back:
BRIDGE1:
I take back all the words I said
All fairy tales are dead
Lets start all over again
These childish games are done
I'm not havin that much fun
What can I do?
CHORUS
Im takin it back
Once and for all
You might see tears in my eyes
But you'll never see them fall
I'm takin it back
It didn't come true
This dreamin got me nowhere
Now I'm stuck down here with you
And sure us guys wanted to save the day
Keep our homes
Thats wishful thinking
Its my own fault for thinking coins were dreams,
How could I know?
You should've told me
BRIDGE2:
Life ain't no wishin well
There's no way you can tell
Where this path will lead us
And maybe there's no treasure
No pot of gold to find
So I don't know about you
CHORUS
(Slash solo)
CHORUS
Stuck down here with you
Stuck down here with you
I'm takin it back
I'm takin it back
I'm takin it.back.
Piano Lessons:
I take back all the words I said
All fairy tales are dead
Lets start all over again
These childish games are done
I'm not havin that much fun
What can I do?
CHORUS
Im takin it back
Once and for all
You might see tears in my eyes
But you'll never see them fall
I'm takin it back
It didn't come true
This dreamin got me nowhere
Now I'm stuck down here with you
And sure us guys wanted to save the day
Keep our homes
Thats wishful thinking
Its my own fault for thinking coins were dreams,
How could I know?
You should've told me
BRIDGE2:
Life ain't no wishin well
There's no way you can tell
Where this path will lead us
And maybe there's no treasure
No pot of gold to find
So I don't know about you
CHORUS
(Slash solo)
CHORUS
Stuck down here with you
Stuck down here with you
I'm takin it back
I'm takin it back
I'm takin it.back.
Piano Lessons:
BRAND
Here we are now, playing songs with bones.
DATA
Hurry they're coming!
STEF
It cant end here, so much left to do
MIKEY
Were not gonna die here!
ANNIE
I haven't done this kinda thing in years
I don't know how it all will turn out
Like Piano Lessons
MOUTH
Were surrounded, Annie don't you fail
(aside) shes gonna kill us!
STEF
Just ignore him, we know that youll pull through!
BRANDON
Don't you worry Ill be right by your side
Keep on playing your fatal lullaby
When its over well laugh to kill the time
STEF
Good job, Annie; now you've opened the door
MOUTH
Not all the way though
DATA
We've got mobsters, and there's holes in the floor
MIKEY
But we can still make it!
ANNIE
Life shouldn't hinge on just one note
When there's so many wrong ones to play
Like Piano Lessons
STEF
You've remembered lessons from long ago
MOUTH
I can see light now!
DATA
One more measure and well get to the gold
BRANDON
Don't you worry Ill be right by your side
Keep on playing your fatal lullaby
When its over well laugh to kill the time
Tubes:
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship.
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship
There's a pirate ship around the bend
And I don't know if this tube will end
But as long as you're sliding with me
Im as happy as anyone could be
Goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship.
Hold my hand, just go with the flow
Life is short, its over before you know
So lay back, and enjoy our slippery slope
Scream your head off, and don't you let go
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were Goin Down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were Goin Down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship!
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship.
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship
There's a pirate ship around the bend
And I don't know if this tube will end
But as long as you're sliding with me
Im as happy as anyone could be
Goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship.
Hold my hand, just go with the flow
Life is short, its over before you know
So lay back, and enjoy our slippery slope
Scream your head off, and don't you let go
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were Goin Down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were goin down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
Were Goin Down
Tubes, Tubes, Tubes
There's a pirate ship!
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