Pronoun Bender

WWTDD once again does the dirty work, and considering it's a story about Chastity Bono, it's about as dirty and nasty as it gets.

Chastity Bono has revealed today that she is in the early stages of changing her gender, to transition from living as a woman to living as a man. From the looks of things, this should only take another hour or so. Someone get her a tie and she’ll be done. TMZ says:

“Yes, it’s true — Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity,” confirmed Bono’s publicist, Howard Bragman.“He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones. It is Chaz’s hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his ‘coming out’ did nearly 20 years ago.”

A report in the British Journal of Psychiatry said the suicide rate for people after a sex change is 1.9 percent. That’s 17,000 times higher than the suicide rate in the US. So it seems the problem is these problem are trapped in the wrong body, and once they get some things chopped off, everything will finally be ok. I also think that if you’re computer is acting funny, try sawing your keyboard in half. Don’t waste time with updates or whatever, it sounds to me and Chastity Bono that the problem is your computer was destined to have a keyboard that’s been sawed in half.

And TMZ was sort of coy about it but back in April, Ted Casablanca on E! said Chastity was pitching a reality show around town that would document her “sex-change operation.” So it would seem this isn’t just hormones and a hat. She seemingly wants a penis made by inserting prosthetic testicles and slicing a tendon behind her clitoris so it will flop around between her legs. To push the terror from a 10 to an 11, maybe they can fill her new nuts with cobra venom that she can shoot into your eyes.

A special double-fisted throatpunch goes out to her publicist, barraging us with the pronoun swap. Sorry dear, not until it happens can you swap your hes and shes. And it doesn't make it so no matter how much you repeat it. If that were the case, I'm Mr. Winona Ryder.