Another in our series of "don't fuck with mother nature" stories...The director of the Berlin Zoo made famous by the polar bear cub Knut has had his finger bitten off by a chimpanzee called Pedro. Sure, it's ethnic sounding, but his full name is Pedro Marciano Thor Mohammed Hwang O'Brien Schlutz.
Bernhard Blaszkiewitz (55, and now nine fingered) was feeding Pedro walnuts as he showed a visitor round the zoo Monday when the ape grabbed his hand and bit off his right index finger. Guess who's still getting laid tonight, although I think a sympathy hump was not the plan.
"Pedro is the boss of the group so he has to demonstrate a certain dominance in it to prove himself," a zoo spokesman said. "Under normal circumstances, a chimp would never have the chance to reach a keeper or our director." But under abnormal circumstances, it's all kinds of dangerous there. Given the disregard for rules and safety, we can expect Pedro to have a trophy necklace of fingers and ears in no time!
Doctors sewed Blaszkiewitz's finger back on but said it was not clear if the operation would be successful. Well, at least the reattachment part. Keepers said the incident would have no repercussions for the 28-year-old Pedro, because really, he's a monkey, and you don't punish the animal acting on natural instinct. If you punish anyone, it's Blaszkiewitz - sew the finger on backwards or something.
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