I usually can avert my gaze and ignore the talentless hacks that get stabbed into the public eye, but there's just something extra annoying and shitty about Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, nom de Lady Gaga.
First, the horrific ensembles she wears. Granted, anybody shaped like a stubby sausage shouldn't be so fond of leotards and skintight outfits, but this is absurd. If Eurotrash had sex with an 80's video and their baby was retarded, that would be Lady Gaga's wardrobe. Hats, gloves, glasses - even carrying a teacup and saucer...it's every bad affectation rolled into one ostentatious, desperate package. She looks more retarded than a special ed class.
In the article and slowly being put into the media is this notion that Lady Gaga is some kind of new sex symbol. Dead fucking wrong. "I think I’m changing what people think is sexy," she says, and I ask who? There are ads for dentures with more sex appeal than her, and all the jacked-up quotes she makes are just goddamn stupid. According to Little Miss Hype, she's bisexual, wants a foursome with the Jonas Homos Brothers, bangs in the back of taxi cabs, and leaves lame souvenirs after sex (besides crabs). Let's get it straight - Lady Gaga is a tampon compared to Peaches, a true electropop ultra sex freak, and not even her best day could compare to the raunchy, raukus eroticism of the teaches of Peaches.
no fucking contest
As a "musician", there's nothing there either. Say what you will about Katy Perry, who also suffers from trying-too-hard-syndrome and is afflicted with high cut underwear, but that bitch can sing. Pop music, as temporary as it may be, kills dance music, and at least Katy Perry can switch it up from tune to tune. Lady Gaga may be the apple of hipster's eyes, but being the modern version of Cher on gay dance club's playlist ain't sayin' much. If she was even 10 percent as good looking a Katy Perry she could at least coast somewhat on her lack of talent, but Lady Gaga is as awful as she is ugly.
still no fucking contest
If ever there was somebody who deserves to die so that her blight was no longer the bane of our ears and eyes, it's Lady Gaga. C'mon lunatic stalkers, do your thing!
1 comment:
I mostly agreed. Until this weekend driving around i was reminded just how talentless and repetitive Peaches is, and the success that she has had is due to some vague, ambiguous sexual shock value. Two different new songs on KCRW were just absolute shite. And Katy Perry is just an alright singer with mildly funny lyrics and a great rack. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I gotta give it to Lady Gaga overall. A better singer, musician, and more creative dresser overall. While her current songs may not reveal it, she is actually a soulful, lovely singer and can play piano quite adeptly (youtube). But Peaches is absolutely terrible. I have a feeling we'll see more to LG with each album, rather than just doing club-dance stuff.
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