(Lime) Green Lantern

Film Drunk reports the latest on DC Comics atempt to make a new franchise, and it may or may not be better than this fan mashup...

We’ve already established that Green Lantern is a pretty gay idea for a movie, considering his origin is that an alien comes to Earth, finds a young man who is “without fear,” and gives him a power ring. That’s a metaphor for priest molestation if I’ve ever heard one. Nonetheless, the movie is happening.

SciFi Wire recently talked to screenwriter (for now) Marc Guggenheim, who says no one has been cast yet. He doesn’t reveal much, but promises to take “a very loving and respectful approach.”

To me that sounds a lot like a tacit admission that (as once rumored) Ryan Gosling will be playing the lead (and not Bradley "The Hangover" Cooper). In honor of this story, here are other facts you may not know about Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern:

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern loves to hold hands, but saves interlocking fingers for his special lady.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern prefers yellow mustard to brown - too spicy!

• Among his hobbies, Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern lists “gettin’ crazy with the swivel chair.”

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern picks wildflowers for the widow down the street, because gifts mean more without a special occasion.

• Favorite color: periwinkle. Favorite word too!

• Just white bread for him, thanks.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern once jumped in a puddle on a dare.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern commutes to Wal-Mart to buy censored CDs.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern holds the ropes when the neighborhood girls play double dutch, and even invented some new chants. They all end in ‘best friends forever.’

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern won’t kill that spider for you, but he’ll capture it and set it free.

• Between meals, Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern entertains the soup kitchen crowd on the harmonica.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks your new tattoo makes you look dangerous. In a good way.

• When he’s feeling adventurous, Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern puts his straw through the bottom of the Capri Sun and drinks it upside down.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern doesn’t trade lunches, but he’s happy to share.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern loves cinnamon.

• Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern Swiffers when stressed