I think that's an adequate portrait of the dictator, but there's also a proper obit.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Two Faces Of Public Service
No one visually embodies the type of person who has no business telling you or anybody else how you can have sex or use your body than LA City Councilman Paul Koretz. That's him on the right.
Koretz feels the best approach to eliminate AIDS from the adult industry - which is unquestionably more important than eliminating AIDS from the community, is to mandate condoms in adult films. Getting on board with the proposal put forth by Michael Weinstein and the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, who collected more than 70,000 signatures calling for a condom-in-porn measure on the city ballot, he underestimated one small obstacle - Carmen Trutanich.
The City Attorney filed a complaint in Superior Court, saying that "Los Angeles voters have no power to adopt the proposed measure," because only the state -- not the city -- has the ability to make such rules. While it's not clear where Trutanich stands on the issue itself, I like the fact that he's looking at the situation with a clear and level head, which just happens to prevent human slugs like Paul Koretz from putting rubbers on people who fuck consensually for money on camera.
Like a good bureaucrat, Trutanich raises the question that a voter-approved condom requirement could attract a lawsuit, forcing “the needless and wasteful expenditure of public resources made in connection with a measure which the voters have no power to adopt.” He pointed out for Koretz and others who want their agenda to supersede what's legal, that his complaint, which helps freeze the action, seeks "judicial clarification to see if the city of Los Angeles is pre-empted from regulating condoms in adult film shoots or whether those powers are relegated to other state agencies."
The response? Trutanich's action to block the ballot measure is "anti-democratic", according to Koretz. "Usually, we have the people have their say first," he added. No, you disgusting troll, the people get to have their say in the appropriate forum and under the of framework of the law. That's why as far as you'll get in government is councilman. And aside from keeping porn raw, I'm happy to see my local tax dollars not being wasted on bad legislation and the challenges that will surround it. Koretz should worry about the bigger picture and bigger problem of AIDS, and not other people's literal fucking business.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Fetal Corpse Syndrome
Last week, I put on my floaties and waded out into the deep end of the Lake of Fire to show anything but sympathy for the dead baby of The Duggars, and now I think I'm justified in my contempt for that family.
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar made a spectacle of their dead baby at a memorial service, which was in conjunction with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, a "non-profit organization that helps families deal with the miscarriage and loss of their babies" - by taking photos of their dead babies.
Shockingly, pictures of Jubilee Shalom Duggar that were supposed to be taken for the family to keep and use at the memorial service somehow "got released" without the Duggars consent. Sure they did. And maybe they shouldn't distributed them to the hundreds of people attending the memorial in Springdale, Arkansas. Or pose for publicity photos like the one above.
If you want to see tiny dead hands and feet being held, you can check out this link.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
You Can't Keep A Douchebag Down
Donald Trump announced that he will no longer moderate the Newsmax-sponsored GOP debate planned for later this month, and of course, there's spin.
Since the announcement of the debate, all Trump could manage to secure were Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum - and that just reinforces how little credibility this political stunt would have garnered. While the "debate" is in limbo, Trump steered clear of the point that Gingrich and Santorum are only showing up to kiss ass and try to pick up whatever few votes a Trump endorsement get, and resurected the threat of an eventually failed Trump campaign:
The Republican Party candidates are very concerned that sometime after the final episode of The Apprentice, on May 20th, when the equal time provisions are no longer applicable to me, I will announce my candidacy for President of the United States as an Independent and that, unless I conclusively agree not to run as an Independent, they will not agree to attend or be a part of the Newsmax debate scheduled for December 27, 2011. It is very important to me that the right Republican candidate be chosen to defeat the failed and very destructive Obama Administration, but if that Republican, in my opinion, is not the right candidate, I am not willing to give up my right to run as an Independent candidate.
Therefore, so that there is no conflict of interest within the Republican Party, I have decided not to be the moderator of the Newsmax debate.
In typical Trump hyperbole, he closed saying, " I believe this would not only have been the most watched debate, but also the most substantive and interesting debate!" Once again, it's all about The Donald. The Republicans like the attention that Trump can bring them, but would never choose or back him over the infinite number of party-line drones they have in the pipeline. Now I'm hoping that Trump does throw his hat into the ring, just so he can burn through million of his own money and lose just like Meg Whitman in her gubernatorial campaign last year.
Another Shiva Bowl For 2012
Christmas comes early! The League has been renewed for a fourth season! It's arguably the funniest show on television (I'm arguing with anyone who disagrees), and with Archer, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and Louie, FX is far and away killing all other networks in the comedy realm.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Maybe "Prison" Loses Something In Translation
What a tough time it must be serving time in Kyrgyzstan.
Inmates at several prisons in the alphabet-challenged former Soviet country have launched a hunger strike over new restrictions that prevents them from being visited by prostitutes. As if the food itself wasn't reason enough to stop eating it.
Joldochbek Bouzourmankoulov, a spokesman for the country's prison sentencing agency, confirmed that prisoners at seven prison have refused to take their meals. He also agreed his name was ridiculous.
The crackdown on getting down on cracks stemmed from the abuse of the visitation rights by family and others - the "others" being paid whores. From now on, only relatives with identity cards showing their ties to inmates can visit. No word yet about the potential grey area if any inmate's relatives are also prostitutes.
In addition to the protest over the lack of access to sex workers allowed, some of the other areas prisoners are look for reform are:
• spa treatments to be extended from 60 to 90 minutes
• caviar must be regional, not exported
• personal tailor hours extended to weekends
• town cars no longer acceptable, only stretch limos
• premium cable and flat panel HDTVs mandatory in all cells
• prison gates to be left open
Newtered
Republican presidential candidate and all-around sack of shit Newt Gingrich signed a pledge to uphold conservative values of the Iowa-based conservative Christian group The Family Leader in order to pander for votes and money for his campaign. Yeah, like a pledge every kept a politician from thinking with his dick.
While the document is really just a checklist of right-wing beliefs - including states rights, preventing gay marriage, and promoting an anti-abortion agenda, his credibility can't support a simple like statement like "I also pledge to uphold the institution of marriage through personal fidelity to my spouse and respect for the marital bonds of others." If that sounds familiar coming out of one side of his fat mouth, it's because you've heard it a few times before, whole the other side of his mouth was sweet-talking his mistresses.
You see, he made a no-adultery pledge back in 2000 to current wife Callista, which should have made her feel comforted, since she was his plaything while he was married to Marianne Ginther. And it did not serve as warning to Marianne back in 1981, when she received a no-adultery pledge after being the other woman to then-wife Jackie Battley. And as you could have predicted, Battley got that same worthless no-adultery pledge when she and Gingrich married in 1962.
Of course, since Newty has gone on television and admitted his wrongdoing, all is forgiven, right? "In my case, I said up front openly, I've made mistakes at times...I've had to go to God for forgiveness. I've had to seek reconciliation." Well, if God - I mean , Newt Gingrich's God, has forgiven him, then surely there's plenty of red state voters who can too. But at that level, he's already got the vote of those who are just looking at his pro-life, pro-state, and pro-family jawing and none of the actual actions of the person presenting them.
Gingrich has long been a typical scumbag politician of the highest degree, and once again he's jumping through the same hoops for show - and we shouldn't expect anything less from his kind. But giving lip service to counter the mouth service he's done in the past isn't enough to make me think he's in going to stay in check - an more importantly, true to his words.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Murph Gets Shut Out
After some less-then-inspired play this weekend, and losing their fourth game in a row to drop the team to an unimpressive 13-12-4, the L.A. Kings ended the Terry Murray era.
Stuck at 499 career wins in slightly more than 1000 games coached, and 139 wins in 275 games to rate 3rd on team's records, Terry Murray could not get the under-performing squad which has $63 million committed to payroll yet ranks dead last with a 2.21 goals per game average to get the vital wins that would save his position. Assistant John Stevens will be the interim coach until a replacement is found.
It's been eminent since early in the season as the Kings had already weathered a five game skid, and he is fifth coach to get the ax (Carolina, Columbus, Washington and Anaheim are the other casualties) so far this year. Murray's unchanging demeanor has been likened to a visual representation of his defense-oriented coaching style, and though it certainly made the team a top penalty killer in the league and created more complete, two-way players, it still takes goals to win games - and at least more than the opponents score. There have been only five games this season that the Kings have scored more than thee goals, and multiple players are thus far having their lowest career point production.
GM Dean Lombardi has a history of defensive leanings for his team development, and it makes his next hire as coach all the more interesting. Stevens, who not only goes back to Philadelphia with Murray, has a similar, stoic attitude and defensive coaching style, so his interim status is probably just that. Many names have been suggested as a potential replacement, like former Edmonton coach Craig MacTavish, Mark Morris of the (L.A. Kings minor league affiliate) Manchester Monarchs and Pittsburgh Penguins assistant (and former Kings player) Tony Granato, but the one with the most buzz is Darryl Sutter. He and Lombardi worked together in San Jose, but while louder and more brash, Sutter employs a similar system to Murray - and fans are already clamoring against those rumors the team is not really making a coaching replacement.
It's too bad that former Manchester Monarchs and recent Washington Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau ended up in Anaheim just days prior. Of the options available, I'd rather see MacTavish before Sutter, but as John at Mayor's Manor says, "In Dean we trust", and for now we have to hope this change makes the team perform as it should.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Leave That Thing Alone
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar got some sad news yesterday when they went to a routine checkup to find out the sex of their 20th child (yes, I would say it's routine after the first three or four), and the answer they got was dead - I know, an odd answer for a child's gender.
Their doctor was unable to find the baby's heartbeat or restraint by the parents for breeding (which is what it becomes when you've had more than a litter of children), and it was determined Michelle had miscarried in her second trimester. Jim Bob released a statement confirming the news to Access Hollywood, and also marking the rare occasion that the name Jim Bob and Hollywood were in the same sentence. In a not-at-all-creepy way, they will still name the baby after they find out of it was a boy or a girl, and plan to hold a funeral service. No word yet if it will be part of their upcoming television season.
The Duggars most recently had daughter Josie in December 2009, and the rest of their offspring are Joshua, 23 (who has two children, Mackynzie, 2, and Michael, 4 months, with wife Anna, 23), twins Jana and John-David, 21; Jill, 20; Jessa, 19; Jinger, 17; Joseph, 16; Josiah, 15; Joy-Anna, 14; twins Jedidiah and Jeremiah, 12; Jason, 11; James, 10; Justin, 8; Jackson, 7; Johanna, 6; Jennifer, 4; and Jordyn, 3. Shockingly, not a Jim Bob junior in the bunch!
If you're keeping score, Michelle's record is 19-2, which would win the AFC East. Yes, she miscarried before, during her second pregnancy, when she was reportedly taking oral birth control. I should add that anal is a very effective birth control, but it is not exactly church-supported. After the first miscarriage, it's said the couple decided to let the number of children they have be "up to God." Well, I think he's trying to let you know you may be finished crapping out kids...or should be.
Now, before I get angry replies about making light of dead babies, ask yourself if it's reasonable to have that many children as some kind of religious quest. If you didn't already know, it's not. We're not in the age of cholera or they need farmhands, and unless it's the second coming of the Khan Empire, there's no need to lay enough seed for an army.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Trump Stump
Given his previous flirtation with the Oval Office, it comes as no surprise that The Donald would try to inject himself into the current race even as it's getting close to nomination time. And that's why he's the moderator for a debate hosted at the end of the month. I mean, ringleader for the debacle.
The "debate" is being hosted by Newsmax, who I've never heard of until now, but in their own words is, "the #1 conservative news agency online". I put that kind of credibility on par with model searches sponsored by Maybelline. Using Trump as the compass for leading the questioning doesn't add anything legitimate either. Of course, I'm not the only one who thinks that a pageant-mogul lacks class.
"The selection of a reality television personality to host a presidential debate that voters nationwide will be watching is beneath the office of the Presidency and flies in the face of that office’s history and dignity."
That was Ron Paul, who will not be "attending" the fracas. Trump responded publicly stating, "Ron Paul has zero chance of getting the nomination," as if the self-promoting huckster is also somehow a tastemaking pundit. Jon Huntsman is also not participating, and while they both may not be front-runners, they've certainly out-distanced the rest with integrity.
Trump said he would endorse a candidate for president sometime after the December 27th debate, and would not run for president unless "the wrong person gets in"...though he does not expect the wrong person will be chosen. Newt Gingrich told reporters, "Of course I want his endorsement," of the follicle-challenged moderator, who was conveniently beside him.
I think that Trump should get on the ticket if Newty gets the bid, because the only thing better than trainwreck is a spectacular trainwreck.
Old Will-waukee
You're the Pabst Brewing Company (in Wisconsin), and Will Ferrell approaches you about making a series of commercials for Old Milwaukee beer for free - but, he wants to shoot them in Davenport, Iowa, and that's the only place they can be aired.
Yeah, they went for it.
Yeah, they went for it.
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