Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Maybe "Prison" Loses Something In Translation


What a tough time it must be serving time in Kyrgyzstan.

Inmates at several prisons in the alphabet-challenged former Soviet country have launched a hunger strike over new restrictions that prevents them from being visited by prostitutes. As if the food itself wasn't reason enough to stop eating it.

Joldochbek Bouzourmankoulov, a spokesman for the country's prison sentencing agency, confirmed that prisoners at seven prison have refused to take their meals. He also agreed his name was ridiculous. The crackdown on getting down on cracks stemmed from the abuse of the visitation rights by family and others - the "others" being paid whores. From now on, only relatives with identity cards showing their ties to inmates can visit. No word yet about the potential grey area if any inmate's relatives are also prostitutes.

In addition to the protest over the lack of access to sex workers allowed, some of the other areas prisoners are look for reform are:

• spa treatments to be extended from 60 to 90 minutes

• caviar must be regional, not exported

• personal tailor hours extended to weekends

• town cars no longer acceptable, only stretch limos

• premium cable and flat panel HDTVs mandatory in all cells

• prison gates to be left open

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