Skank Fruit From A Skanky Tree

One's 46, one is 21, and one is 14...and they don't look it. At all. White Oprah and Lohag are one thing, but even little sister sleezebot looks pretty haggard. You can put on expensive clothes, do your hair and make up, and get onto red carpet photo ops, but you can't unskank yourself. Pictures are worth 1000 words, but now they're also worth a few smells, like cigarette butts, Jagermeister, and Suave conditioner (coconut).

This year, both sisters will be competing for the spotlight as Dina Lohan tries to steal the mantle of Mother Of The Year from Lynne Spears, and I predict that a double dose of Lohan can rival the Spears Express. There will no doubt be more parading of The Three Vajmigos in the limelight, so be prepared for more publicity and (over)exposure. Not pictured: the puddle of skank juice they're standing in.

I'm getting checked for STDs after looking at that picture. You should too to be on the safe side.