Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Sum Of All Fears

As I mentioned last year, which has garnered increasing chatter of late, is now fact. Jimmy Fallon is taking over "Late Night". Never has going to bed early sounded so good.

As the networks spend their week palming advertisers for their fall schedule upfronts, NBC opened by confirming the appointment of Fallon as Conan O'Brien's successor on its "Late Night" show.

"It's a comedian's dream to get this job, to work with writers and try to be funny every night," Fallon said. "I'm hoping to make it the best show -- a great show for everyone to choose me to fall asleep during." You goddamn got that right.

The passing of the Tonight Show mantle to Conan O'Brien is terrific, but putting Fallon back on television is just plain cruel. Letting him squander what little fame he had on shitty movies like Fever Pitch and Taxi would have been a fitting end to him, but I can think of dozens of things better to put on after Conan. And here's 12 of 'em:

12. Entertainment Tonight (Josh Tesh era)
11. rebroadcast of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien"
10. whatever NBC is airing 3 hours ahead in the eastern time zone
9. C-SPAN agribusiness relief bill debates
8. the Emergency Broadcast System test
7. Later, with Carson Daly
6. paint, drying
5. The Byron Allen Show
4. a hernia surgery
3. infomercials
2. every episode of E.R.
1. dead air

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