Despite being the most awesome Olympic athelete ever, Michael Phelps is not as big a deal as Jennifer Lopez doing an interview to say she will enter a triathlon one day.Lopez appeared on "Good Morning America" to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, and was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer”. She couldn’t come up with eight-time gold-medal winner Michael Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’”
I hope that fat-ass, self righteous twat dies from exhaustion, drowns, suffers a massive coronary running, or gets attacked by a shark - and that wouldn't make me happy enough. In reality, it's a mini-triathlon - Malibu is a half-mile ocean swim, an 18-mile bike course, and a 4-mile run. Real triathlons are a 2.4-mile ocean swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run. And once she's gone off and fucked herself, God can too. That's right, I'm calling out the big deity. Christina Applegate gets both her beautiful breasts removed fighting breast cancer and J. Lo is fine? Bullshit, man.
Adds Tyler Durden:
After 8 gold medals, was there any doubt that Michael Phelps was gonna be on the cover of Sports Illustrated re-creating the famous Mark Spitz poster. This was an obvious choice but boring as hell. A better representation of how much ass he kicked last week would be a picture of him riding a 20-foot seahorse and throwing a trident into a slanty-eyed squid wrapped around an American submarine.
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