The Current Celeb Of The Week

It's Charlie Sheen!

While Brittany Murphy got herself the Christmas week headlines, Chuck Sheen (that sounds more badass too) wanted to finish the year strong! While visions of sugar plums were dancing in faries heads, MaSheen (thx Being John Malkovich) was continuing his lunatic streak. You can thank WWTDD for the commentary.

Charlie Sheen been arrested so many times it’s hard to keep up, but at least 5 times for drug possession, soliciting prostitutes, and credit card fraud. He was not arrested when he shot Kelly Preston in the arm or when he allegedly threatened to kill Denise Richards and their kids or when he maybe killed a hooker. And for the holidays he was arrested again for second-degree assault, menacing and criminal mischief after he choked his wife Brooke Mueller, and now it’s being reported he threatened her with a knife.

This sucks for her but Charlie Sheen is a violent, drug addicted piece of shit and always has been. Of course he tried to kill her. If I owned a health insurance company, that’s one thing I’d look for. Do you smoke, do you drink, and are you married to Charlie Sheen? If you answered yes to any of those, fuck you. What am I, made out of money.

And if you need further evidence, the 911 call placed by Mueller on Christmas day after Sheen choked her and threatened her with a knife has been released, and it’s a delightful peek into the life of a Hollywood playboy who has been above the law his entire life. Some of the highlights…

911: Tell me exactly what happened.
BROOKE: My husband had me, with a knife and I’m scared for my life and he threatened me.

911: Which room is he in, when the officers enter the house which room will he be in?
BROOKE: In the bathroom.

911: And which room are you in?
BROOKE: In the kitchen. I thought I was gonna die, (unintelligible, perhaps “someone help me”.)

911: What’s your name?
BROOKE: Brooke.

911: And whats your husbands name?
BROOKE: It’s Charlie Sheen.

Soon after that Brooke says he’s trying to sneak out of the house but the officers arrived just a few seconds later and his brilliant escape plan was foiled. The reason she sounds drunk is because she was drunk, reportedly registering a .13 BAL. That might also explain her unthinkably bad self-defense skills. If someone is chasing you around the house with a small knife, don’t go wait for them in the room where the bigger, stabbier knives are kept. “Okay ma’am, where are you know?” “I’m in the kitchen with my back to the hallway, tying my shoelaces together and yelling that he’s a fag who isn’t man enough to stop me.”

And you know there's more to come...