Ich Do Think So This Weekend

Best of the week: I recently watched a few episodes of Da Ali G Show that aired about six years ago, and they're still hilarious. Scarlett and I are going to Brüno tonight, and while she knows the Borat movie, she had to see the genesis for the characters and the show. The film is enjoying fairly positive reviews and could be one of the highest grossing openings for a comedy if the midnight show tracking holds. Brüno has been everywhere lately, and while there's been a lot of hype, his appearances and publicity have been pretty comical.

I was thinking about some of the comedic shows over the last decade that will hold up in the years to come, and there's not a lot - but those who do are genius. Mr. Show. Upright Citizen's Brigade. Arrested Development. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. They are groundbreaking and in a league of their own. South Park does deserve mention, but it's kinda in it's own category, especially because the animation aspect allows them more latitude. Even the worst five minutes of those programs is funnier than any whole season of Two And A Half Men.

Worst of the week: OMG!

In the world of the useless, this site has quickly risen to the top. Once a knock off of the People / Star / Us online sites with a curiously similar logo to an established celeb gossip page, just this week it's been cited as the king of entertainment news sites. In May, with it's hits alone it generated close to $3.2 million in ad revenue. And for what? Here's the type of drivel you'll find there:

Daniel Radcliffe Now Open To Dating Girls His Own Age
Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince star Daniel Radcliffe says he's now open to dating girls closer to his own age - and he's excited about all his new romantic prospects.

"I've been out with a couple of women who have been older than me," Daniel told People at Tuesday's world premiere of the next "Potter" movie. "I think it's the maturity thing more than anything else, but that was when I was younger - girls my age are now mature, so it's great."

And the young star appears to be thrilled with his newly realized potential dating field. Adding, "I've widened the field!"

Daniel's co-star, Jessie Cave, who plays Lavender Brown in "The Half-Blood Prince," said his love of the written word could be an endearing quality when it comes to dating.

"Daniel loves poetry, it's definitely a passion of his," she told the mag, "and I think he would suit that sort of poet lifestyle, he's very dramatic and witty and very, very clever."

What's missing? Some key ingredient that could give the story any relevance? Did you figure it out yet? How about...WHAT HIS FUCKING AGE? And what have we learned without that? Nothing. It is just like the terrible LA Daily News, which Famous Mom similarly pointed out that there was an article about a great restaurant in the Valley, and after all the praise and testimonials about the place, they left out the simple yet most important detail - the goddamn address.

Then there's this awful nugget:

Fate Of Fans' Flowers, Cards For Jackson Undecided
Since Michael Jackson died June 25, fans from around the world have expressed their grief in flowers, balloons, teddy bears, candles, pictures and handwritten notes left throughout the city at his rented Holmby Hills mansion, at the Jackson family home in Encino, at his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and at his Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara County.

Now that the King of Pop has been memorialized publicly and privately, some say it's time to start clearing the mementos away. The family has yet to decide what to do with the keepsakes.

Just as the sun was rising, city workers began packing up flowers, cards and gifts left on Jackson's star on Hollywood Boulevard. By afternoon, they had filled five boxes, which they delivered to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce for safe keeping. Chamber spokeswoman Ana Martinez-Holler said she has never seen so many mementos left for a fallen star. "This has never happened at this magnitude," she said. "We didn't want to throw things away. This was a tribute paid to Michael by his fans. We just want to know if the family wants them and we're hoping to hear back from them soon."

Fans continued to contribute to the makeshift memorials outside the family compound and Neverland Ranch on Wednesday. Sandra Darvish, 42, was moved by Tuesday's televised memorial to pay respects in person at the family's home. As she left a bouquet of tulips, the official export from her homeland of Holland, Darvish said she wasn't always a Jackson fan. "But after yesterday, I sort of understood the family," she said. "It was very touching." While she and others added to the collection of flowers, balloons, posters and flags from around the world in front of the home, a groundskeeper piled up the mementos to give to the family. Dead flowers peeked out from one of eight black plastic trash bags sitting nearby.

Anjanette Butler, who went to Encino from Ventura, said she hoped the family would keep fans' cards and letters for Jackson's children. "Maybe they can show it to the kids to show how much everyone loved Michael," the 32-year-old Butler said. "It was their father, not this whole icon." Sisters Tanya and Yolanda Vasquez, who left a colorful bouquet of flowers, were sad to see the keepsakes being cleared. "They're taking them down and it's kind of upsetting," said Tonya Vasquez, 23. "I think we should still be able to leave stuff." Her 27-year-old sister suggested that the family might take the mementos to Neverland as part of a permanent display.

While I've excerpted it, know that somebody was paid to, and wrote 658 words about the plants and junk that folks left behind for Michael Jackson. I have to think the same unemployed lunatics - and that's what they have to be if they are taking day trips to the various addresses Jackson lived - are the prime audience for this presentation of a non-story. The three sentences I highlighted there can be condensed into one line that could be inserted into any story about Jackson - "Shit is still amassing from overzealous fans, who have little regard beyond the self-important scope of their actions, as officials have no idea if even the family wants any of the crap." The end.

Their "we just like to tell the happy view on what's going on in the entertainment world" perspective is a plastic, glossy load of shit. And that is which isn't important enough to merit a chiliad of words is uselessly presented in galleries. Do you even care to see a picture of Tori Spelling getting a cheeseburger? Not even if it was a specialty sex act in Amsterdam. The only half interesting thing about any of it is the accidental humor dark bastards like me attach.

Fuck that website. With Samantha Ronson's nasty dick.

Runner Up: Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas)

Hoping to ingratiate herself further with the Jackson family and harness public adulation from his death, Lee managed to get a spot at the Jackson Memorial Circus and was waiving a framed copy of her congressional resolution honoring the entertainer on stage.

Thankfully, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi shut the door to the resolution because debate on the symbolic measure could raise "contrary views" about the pop star's life. Also, it's a huge waste of time. Surely you all recall from your civics classes that lawmakers are free to use House speeches "to express their sympathy or their praise any time that they wish," but are there not more important things to deal with?

Even before Pelosi's comments, some Democrats said privately they did not support the resolution and a divisive debate would hurt House efforts to muster the votes for priorities such as health care and climate change. Rep. Peter King (R-N.Y.), who posted a video on YouTube calling Michael Jackson a "pervert" and a "pedophile," has pledged to do all he could to block the resolution.

Unbowed (which means stubbornly), Lee said she will seek support from colleagues. Whichever ones want to tarnish their careers. When members of the Congressional Black Caucus held a moment of silence in the House after Jackson died June 25, some lawmakers walked out of the chamber. Lee has pledged that the resolution, before the House Foreign Affairs Committee where she is a member, would come to the full House for debate. Good thing it wasn't a campaign promise, because she'll be waiting a long time to see that one hit the floor. And yes, that's the same House Foreign Affairs Committee which should be focusing on little things like the coup in Honduras, the nuclear escalation of North Korea, the Taliban in Afghanistan, Iranian "elections", and the American pulloutback in Iraq . And apparently, honoring Michael Jackson.