Hey, remember when the Farrelly Brothers made There’s Something About Mary, grossed $370 million on a $23 million budget and were the hottest filmmakers in town? Yeah, well now they’re directing - I shit you not - Walter the Farting Dog . And how can it get worse?It's starring the Jonas Brothers.
The title character in the “Walter” books is a fat dog with severe flatulence. The brothers play musicians (i.e., themselves, because acting anything other than questionable masculine would be impossible) whose parents are asked to care for the dog by an aunt just before she passes away. “By the time they’ve driven the dog home, everybody’s head is out the window of the family station wagon but Frankie (aka "the Bonus Jonas"), and only because he has a serious sinus problem and doesn’t notice the stench coming from Walter,” said Peter Farrelly. Hahaha chortle guffah! While his brothers play music, Frankie and the gaseous hound get involved in a plot that involves liberating a koi fish and thwarting jewel thieves. Jesus Christ, that just made me a little retarded for reading it.
This sounds like something Eddie Murphy or Martin Lawrence turned down. Is it because the Farrellys had kids? What is it about having kids that makes people stop being funny? Does your brain shoot out your dick when you impregnate someone? Because you could come up with any combination of kid celebrity and animal with a health condition and it still wouldn’t be as bad as The Jonas Brothers and a farting dog. Bongo the AIDS Bear, starring Miley Cyrus. Jamal the Leprous Manatee, starring Zac Efron. Milton the Ejaculating Dolphin, starring Ashley Tisdale. See? The Jonas Brothers one is still worse.
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