Be Kind, Destroy

Anybody remember that part at the end of the classic Time Bandits, where Kevin says, "Mom! Dad! It's evil! Don't touch it!"? That's what the Verne Troyer sex tape is.

The battle continues, reignited by the little monster himself, suing his ex-girlfriend for $20 million, claiming she allowed snippets of the tape to be released. Troyer's lawsuit also claims that ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider was abusive and inflicted emotional distress on him. He may be height challenged, so things look bigger to him by perspective, but does he even understand how much $20 million is? and who he's trying to get it from? Ranae Shrider probably earns as much as an Outback Steakhouse waitress for whatever she does, and is as attractive as one (on the weekday lunch shift).

This new lawsuit comes roughly two weeks after Troyer settled with a porn distributor and broker to successfully block the release of the 50-minute tape of him and Shrider having sex. His current lawsuit claims that the dissemination of the tape is an invasion of privacy, misappropriation of his name, voice and likeness, and a copyright violation. It's a violation of good taste if anything. And what, does he have the copyright of gross goblin sex?

He is asking a judge to grant a temporary injunction, barring Shrider and others from trying to sell the tape. Troyer is also seeking the return or destruction of all copies of the video. The lawsuit also names another woman, Holly Bannon, who they claim is trying to broker the tape along with an attorney, Okorie Okorocha. Okorocha said he has never seen the tape and simply tried to negotiate a deal between Troyer and a client who has since dropped him. All other parties involved asked what kind of made up name is Okorie Okorocha?

In addition to seeking damages for the release of the tape, Troyer's new lawsuit also claims Shrider refused to move out of Troyer's home after their breakup, and at one point pinned him to a wall and broke a video camera. Really? Couldn't he just run back through his mouse hole and hide? Troyer also declined to press charges against Shrider after one incident in which he claimed she stole his medication. In all fairness, she was right to hide his Viagra.

Troyer's attorney has said that the actor will pursue all possible legal action to keep the tape from being sold. All merchants and vendors should do the same, for everybody's sake.