Taking Turkish Baths To A New Level

There are many perils to life in Congress, but perhaps the worst is when screw-loose ex-staffers go over to the opposition and accuse you of betraying your country to Turkey while having a lesbian affair.

According to an American Conservative interview (that's already suspect) Sibel Edmonds, a Turkish and Farsi language translator who used to work for the FBI, claims that a Democratic congresswoman from Illinois was seduced by a Turkish secret agent. Adding another twist is Edmonds was hired by the FBI as a contractor right after 9/11, and she worked for them until they fired her for whistleblowing in 2002.

As reported by Vanity Fair in 2005, an internal FBI Inspector General's report stated that Edmonds had been improperly fired and it further said that "many of her allegations had bases in fact."

And she's made lots of allegations, too! Like the ones involving former Illinois Congressman and Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, who, according to Edmonds, received tens of thousands of dollars in secret campaign payments from Chicago-area Turkish diplomats and Turkish-Americans. (Hastert then withdrew from House consideration one of those perennial resolutions acknowledging the Armenian genocide. Hastert now works for a lobbying firm hilariously named Dickstein Shapiro, where he lobbies for Turkey.)

She has further claimed to have heard evidence of Turkish agents recruiting sources in the FBI and State Departments to steal nuclear secrets which were then sold on the old black nuclear secrets market. But after getting warmed up with these allegations, Edmonds decided to really see how far she could go. She says that these Turkish spies discovered that married Democratic Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky was bisexual, and so a female agent was assigned to sleep with her on camera, in order to blackmail her. Nice surprising change of direction!

Edmonds says in the interview that "in 2000 ... Turkish agents started gathering information on her, and they found out that she was bisexual." A female Turkish agent is said to have "struck up a relationship with her", and then, following the death of Schakowsky's mother, the woman is said to have attended the funeral "hoping to exploit her vulnerability."

"They later were intimate in Schakowsky's townhouse," Edmonds says, "which had been set up with recording devices and hidden cameras." The reason for attempting to get at Schakowsky, Edmonds believes, is so that they would be able to get both her "and her husband Robert Creamer (titter) to perform certain illegal operational facilitations for them in Illinois," along with Hastert, who was already on the payroll, and several other Chicago officials. Yep, the old lesbian honeypot seduction!

It's pretty hard to follow this insane story, so who knows if you should be freaked out about the Turkish spy ring selling nuclear secrets, or if their bribery and blackmail has thus far succeeded only in preventing Congress from officially recognizing this mass murder they perpetrated in 1915.