Gay Marriage Is Illegal, But Man And Beast Can Wed

Not to be upstaged by sisters Assy Pig Tank and the Brainiac, The Beast makes a power move!

The news is that Lamar Odom and Shrek Khloe Kardashian needed all of one month together to decide that they were going to get married. The wedding is this Sunday (and she "couldn't be happier" - of course, she's used to trapping and eating men, not marrying them), but the bachelor party is tonight. And it is going to be insane.

Why?

Joe "Raping Scumbag Assaulting Tax Evader" Francis is hosting Lamar’s swan song to bachelorhood at Les Deux nightclub in Hollywood. It is being described as a formal affair...with stripper poles and “midgets.” At least there's "tons of candy". And that's not code for anything.

Khloe’s brother Rob will be there to "keep an eye on Lamar", but he'll have so much little person ass covered in coke, I doubt he'll even know who Lamar is. The only wilder gathering will be the divorce afterparty. Does Lamar need a green card? Is he fighting the draft? I know brothers like white girls, but Khloe ain't white, and pending a South Africa track and field gender test, may not be female.