Michael Vick Was Not Involved

Yes, there are crazed animals in Georgia, and it wasn't another dog fighting ring.

An elderly woman killed by a pack of wild dogs had been out for a walk when she was attacked, and her husband died trying to fight off the mauling animals when he discovered the bloody scene near their rural Georgia home, authorities said. Fucking nuts!

Preliminary autopsy results showed Lothar Karl Schweder (77) and his wife, Sherry (65), died from multiple animal bites. With a badass name like Lothar, I'm appalled that he was not more resilient. Authorities have rounded up about 11 dogs suspected in the rare attack and returned to the area recently to find four more. The dogs were being held by animal control officials while authorities decide what to do with them. Suggestion? Kill them.

Sherry Schweder had recently told one of her sons that there were several dogs wandering the neighborhood that no one seemed to be caring for. What a bitch of a way to find out you're right. Investigators found Sherry Schweder's bloody shirt underneath the car, which was about six to eight feet from her body. Lothar Schweder was then attacked and apparently struggled with the dogs. His body was found on the other side of the dirt road, about 16 to 18 feet from his wife's body. Evidence indicates Lothar Schweder put up a fight and may have tried to pull out a cell phone before he was overtaken. Experts say such attacks are extremely rare — and instances where more than one person is attacked are even more rare. But sometimes, Purina won't cut it.

"You are more likely to killed by a bolt of lightning than by a dog," said a spokesman for the Humane Society of the United States, but that's a lot of lightning when you consider there have been at least 20 deadly dog attacks in the U.S. this year. Last year there were 22, and 33 in 2007. Compared with about 75 million owned dogs, you're probably still safe, but for sure the worst way to go. Getting killed by an animal would suck, but a whole pack? Super sucky.