So We're Really Out Of Ideas?

Goddamned Hollywood, the land where ideas are as rare as a sober frat boy.

CBS, who has always been a purveyor of unfunny, shitty comedies (Two And A Half Men, Everybody Loves Raymond, The King Of Queens, Yes Dear to name some of the worst), has found a new way to be inspired to use the same old ideas - Twitter.

Justin Halpern’s Shit My Dad Says has attracted 700,000 followers since August, and that's good enough for a TV exec!. CBS plans to produce a sitcom pilot based on the tweets, adding two Will & Grace creators to the mix. Yeah, they won't ruin it. Halpern parlayed his father’s obscenity-laced observations into a mini-empire and singed a Shit My Dad Says-inspired book deal with Harper Collins last month and will co-write the CBS show.

I think that's great that he got a payday out of it, but ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? There weren't already any sitcoms with a cantankerous father character? Or did they just forget they could rehash the same thing until new media reminded them? They have to change the name anyway if it breaks pilot season, so where's the reference or connection anyway? And while we're raising questions, why didn't the same success happen for Things My Boyfriend Says, which I highlighted back in June '07? It's funny, but it's far more ratings appropriate for any kind of development.

Some Shit My Dad Says highlights:

• "My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."

• "Tennessee is nice. The first time I vomited was in Tennessee, I think."

• "Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi."

• "The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."

• "Don't listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son."

• "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."

• "Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer."

• “You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullshit, I saw you touch it….I don’t give a shit about your evidence, this isn’t a court of law."

• "The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

• "Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

• "Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

• "Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shitty."

Oh, hell...some of my favorite Things My Boyfriend Says:

• While watching a commercial for pickup trucks: "Buy this truck and PUNCH MOTHER NATURE IN THE FACE."

• "A small part of you is made of RETARD."

• "It's a rule of the world that naked girls have to do what men wearing clothes say."

• "I always get people gifts that I would want. Therefore, this year, you're getting a gun."

• e: Come here Mustard.
me: Why are you calling me mustard?
e: You said last night that I could.
me: No I didn't.
e: Yes you did. Think back, Mustard.

• "About that money I owe you. Do you take sex?"

• me: How did I end up with you?
e: You lost a bet.