Friday, March 27, 2009

You're Doing It Wrong

Former old man's whore Holly Madison has become the latest MMA Dancing With the Stars competitor to get injured this season.

She was experiencing pain before performing on this week's show, and it was ruled out the strain was from having to so more than show her tits and have sex with an octogenarian. While rehearsing for the tango, the pain got significantly worse - worse than the shame of sleeping with a man more than 50 years her senior. She received medical attention and a broken rib was ruled out.

A publicist statement acknowledged she was not suffering from a broken rib, but does continue to feel a great deal of discomfort, for which she was prescribed pain medication, something she wished she had back when she had to service her former sugar daddy. Madison's expects to dance on the Monday episode of Thunderdome Dancing With The Stars.

Impressively, Madison, who complained of having bruised ribs and hoped that she wouldn't have to do the elimination round's dance-off, prevailed against superbitch Denise Richards when forced into that head-to-head competition

Followers will recall Madison signed on to compete in Death Race 2000 Dancing With the Stars after replacing Jewel, who suffered a (non-snaggletooth) dancing-related injury before the show's premiere. Nancy O'Dell also dropped out of the competition before it even began due to injury because she's old - though
she's hot as hell for being over 40. Other current contestants, have also suffered physical injuries this season. Steve Wozniak, the Apple scion crossed with a gay muppet, is performing with foot issues, and Steve-O has been experiencing back and lower body pain.

I don't know how this show is taking people out, but something isn't right. Steve-O used to jump out of a moving car onto a burning sheet of plywood, snort wasabi while getting kicked in the groin, and had fireworks shot from his ass. He's had more cocaine and liquor in him than an Allman Brothers residence at the Fillmore. None of that phased him, but you're telling me the cha cha and rumba are his weakness?

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