Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, the Johnston (19) told The Associated Press that he and Bristol Palin (18) mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship, further proving any and every speculation that bad parenting and irresponsible children in the media eye do only what will garner votes. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, likely because he'd exhausted his vocabulary and would require the rest of the day to gather the energy to form more sentences.
He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the interweb, were inaccurate. Except they did plan to break up "a while ago" and ammo in the shotgun wedding was dependant on November's election results. Bristol Palin made a statement that she was devastated about a report on Star magazine's web site - which is as deep as she gets for news and info online - that quoted Levi's sister, Mercede (is everybody in Alaska named like a complete fucktard?), as saying Bristol "makes it nearly impossible" to visit the teenagers' infant son, Tripp. And he should be so lucky.
Proving once again that everything Sarah Palin says is not at all true, she revealed in December that her daughter and Johnston "are committed to accomplish what millions of other young parents have accomplished, to provide a loving and secure environment for their child." We're lucky that there are such excellent Republican family values in our country, binding our nation like righteous glue. Johnston and Palin had said they were considering a summer wedding, but this summer he'll be on a jet ski and I expect Bristol to be ready for another suitor to add to that clan's numbers.
When I see his quote from October, I just have to laugh. "We both love each other...we both want to marry each other. And that's what we are going to do." Spoken like a true teenager forced to marry your pregnant girlfriend under the duress of an election and the eyes of the world.
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