Shitty City

That movie about four pre-menopausal alcoholics who'll fuck anything with a Y-chromosome comes out today, and I am thrilled at the backlash and mockery over it. You don't have to go too far on the interweb to catch a taste, so I'm not going to spend time digging all that up for you. Instead, I just have to question the virtue of our old vaginas.

Fortunately, I did not have to watch the six seasons of screw-gars spreading their legs for all comers, but somebody who did calculated all the partners they bedded in that time. Samantha led the pack with 41 johns (and one woman for good measure), while the rest of the horses trailed far behind but together. Carrie hooked up with 18 as well as Charlotte, and Miranda was just shy of tying with 17. By the way, hate yourself if you're a man and you know who which character is. So for 94 shows, they banged 94 guys. Nice work, skanks.

According to condom manufacturer Durex, the nation average of partners a woman has is nine, but women in Manhattan more than double that count with 20. These four totally skew with their figures. What I've always maintained is that the show tries to legitimise the action of a couple of whores under the guise of looking for love and happiness. And as women get older and more desperate to not be a spinster, they make more mistakes and unwise choices - like channeling their inner slut. Clearly these troglodytes have intimacy issues and trouble maintaining relationships, and boy, can they pick them!

There's no question women are going to flock to a movie that dangles fashion and sexual gratification before them, but let's pray they can tell the difference between entertainment and reality. Because four natty fictitious sluts is plenty.

no shit it's ugly