What's the best way to tell your parents you've decided to get back together with and marry your teenage baby daddy after a very ugly public tiff between him and your family? On the cover of Us Weekly, of course!Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston told the rag that they were getting married — with or without the approval of Sarah Palin. Yep, she's a viable candidate for some public office just on virtue alone of her magnificent handling of her daughter's pregnancy and relationships. The Alaskan hillbillies say they reconnected about three months ago while working out a custody agreement for their 18-month-old son, Tripp.
I've got an agreement for you both to mull over - sterilization. You're both too fucking stupid to be declared legally competent to manage your lives, let alone create any others. Even if you don't end up together, that's what would be best for society.
According to the magazine, Johnston and Palin secretly got engaged two weeks ago, which makes their denial in People magazine from the same period as the Us Weekly scoop even more awesome. Perhaps they didn't offer the same $100,000 and cover for the exclusive. In a statement to NBC News this morning, Sarah and Todd Palin said that they want what's best for their kids and that "Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives". Too bad they don't want what's best for the country, which would be locking the whole family in a mobile home and setting it on fire.
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