Count Machine Onahole is a basically a Fleshlight with a counting mechanism attached. Like a pedometer for masturbating. A pudometer? A jerkulator?Okay, who doesn't like to spice up their sex life, but is that going to come in the way of monitoring how many thrusts it takes to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Is checking how many pumps per minute you average going to be the video game high score of the Xbox generation? Isn't it enough that you're fucking a fake pussy stashed in a hollowed out flashlight?
The manufacturers are proud to point out that Japanese porn star Hiroshi "Chocoball" Mukai has set some sort of record with 426 pumps in one minute. Admittedly, I know the name of an adult actor or two, and I've never heard of this cat - you tend to remember "Chocoball" no matter what the context. It's no coincidence that I was just talking about how totally mental Japan is with one of my Japanese clients today (he told me about mothers who ride by you on a bike and slash you with a razor while I countered with hentai tentacle rape). This is yet another piece of proof.
Gizmodo summed it up best: "Want one? No you don't. But it's $124 if for some reason you change your mind."
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