$$$ Wipes

This photo has been all over the last day, and a lot of negative things have been said about A-Rod using a $100 bill to wipe his face, and I think people are being really unfair in their criticism of him.

Like, if he can’t wipe his face with a fresh, clean hundred-dollar bill, exactly what kind of bill should he use? A five? A one? Please. What use could he have for bills that small? A twenty? Pffffft. Twenties get touched by commoners’ hands every day. There’s no telling what kind of germs might be on those.

Now, a C-note — that makes sense. They come in nice packages of a hundred, and you can use them once and throw them away. It’s not an ostentatious display of wealth. Why, just earlier today A-Rod felt poor when he realized who couldn’t get a $400-million yacht like Roman Abramovich. This downturn in the market has been tough on all of us.