They're Lucky To Be Alive

With all the high-rolling extravegance and modern luxury, don't forget at Dubai is still a place with very draconian conservative laws and beliefs.

Which is why I'm surprised a British couple charged with having sex on the beach were sentenced to three months in jail and not hacked into pieces.

The judge did not provide any details about his verdict, as is customary in Dubai (because fuck you, it's the law of the Koran, not of man, bitch!), so it is unclear whether Michelle Palmer and Vince Acors (who appearently shows how he gets the pretty ladies) were found guilty of engaging in intercourse, or some lesser offense, like being unattractive. The two 30-something Britons, met at an all-you-can-drink champagne brunch before the alleged incident occurred and arrested in July. They were charged with sex outside of marriage, public indecency and drunkenness.

In addition to the three-month jail sentence, Judge Hamdi Mustafa Abu el-Khair levied a 1,000 (bull!) dirham fine (that's $272) against each of the defendants and ordered them to be deported from Dubai after serving their prison time. "I will appeal (the verdict) and ask a judge to look at the medical report that says they did not have sex," said their lawyer, Hassan Matter.

Both previously admitted they were drunk but denied having sex. The two were not in the courtroom Thursday to hear the judge's verdict, and it was unclear if they would remain out of prison while their lawyer appealed the case. The appeal will be submitted after the judge issues a formal explanation of his verdict, which the lawyer expects in a week to 10 days. The defense has to file an appeal within 15 days.

The couple could have received two years in prison if convicted of all charges. And it used to be that herpes was the worst you'd get from a drunken fling. Angelos in a Middle East prison? Not so good...

Public displays of affection are illegal in Dubai, which is a terrific selling point for a place that is trying to be a haven for Western tourists and businesses. But for all the amenities, it's not like they're the only place in the world. And why would you want to go there if you're white? Last time I checked, terrorists and anti-Western factions weren't checking passports before killing people. It's not that Dubai isn't safe, mind you, but remember where in the world it is.