New Kind Of Rape

Just want to share with everybody something totally retarded that came up in conversation, and of course it exists as friendly chain spam. Verbatim:

This is a true story.

The woman left the office after working hours and saw a little child crying on the road. Feeling pity for the child, she went to ask what happened. The child said, 'I am lost. Can you take me home please?' Then the child gave her a slip of paper and tells the woman where the address is. The woman, being an average kind person who didn't suspect anything took the child there. And there when they arrived at the child's home, the kind hearted woman pressed the door bell and she was electrocuted as the bell was wired with high voltage, and fainted.

The next day when she woke up, she found herself in an empty house up in the hills, naked. Condoms were all thrown around with semen all over her and flowing from her body. There were at least about 20 condoms! She had not even seen her assailants. That's why nowadays crimes are targeted on kind people like her.

Next time if the same situation occurs, never bring the child to the intended place. If the child insists, then bring the child to the police station. Lost children are best sent to police stations!!!!!!

Please send this to all your female friends/colleagues, and your friends with girlfriends and friends with wives. It is better to receive this a thousand times than is a victim once!

To keep my Identity and job safe I will just say that I am Officer Justice. Keep safe Ladies!

Please pass this on to family members. It is better to be informed. It is sad that we cannot even help children now!

One Love

Wow. There's so much wrong and totally ridiculous, I was shocked that there was even any thought whatsoever that this could be remotely true. Let's take it apart, line by line.

This is a true story. (anything that begins with those words, especially an email, is not)

The woman (THE woman? which one? the made up one this didn't happen to) left the office (the nonspecific office) after working hours (because she was working regular hours) and saw a little child crying on the road (y'know, THE road, wherever it is). Feeling pity (not concern or empathy or any other normal feeling) for the child, she went to ask what happened. The child (that nobody else apparently saw - it must have been a very remote road where not many people were) said, 'I am lost. Can you take me home please?' (good, the child was taught to talk to strangers) Then the child gave her a slip of paper and tells the woman where the address is (if that was the case then what was on the paper? did she not know where the address was, and if so how far was she going to go to drop the kid off). The woman, being an average (actually, far below in the intelligence department) kind (but not so kind that she previously pitied the child) person who didn't suspect anything (because a child alone crying on the side of the road is normal) took the child there (without bothering to find out how the child got from home to the side of the road in the first place). And there when they arrived (what is that grammar?) at the child's home (which must have been in the middle of nowhere for the next part to happen), the kind hearted (oh, now there's kindness in her heart) woman pressed the door bell and she was electrocuted as the bell was wired with high voltage, and fainted (that's not called fainting).

The next day when she woke up (that must have been quite a shock that knocked her out for at least 12 hours but didn't kill her), she found herself in an empty house up in the hills (in the hills of where? from where?), naked. Condoms were all thrown around (were all? - is this a story or a transcription from somebody without high school English) with semen all over her and flowing (really - how much was in there to literally flow out of her?) from her body (so someone used condoms because they didn't want to get a disease from her but not everybody because she was leaking semen? and it would have to be fairly recent, because that shit dries up). There were at least about (which is it - at least or about) 20 condoms (which means there were twenty people? or she got raped twenty times? or it's just another made up part of the story)! She had not even seen her assailants (is that insult to injury?). That's why nowadays crimes (nowadays crimes? not those ones of yesteryear?) are targeted on kind people like her (or the kind of people like her - total idiots who afterwards can't tell the authorities where the original house was that she brought the child to).

Next time if the same situation occurs (getting phantom gang raped?), never bring the child to the intended place (as if you want to pick up strange children). If the child insists (what are you, a moron - you do what a child insists of you), then bring the child to the police station (which should have been your only option to begin with, if you didn't just call them the moment you found the child). Lost children (who are being used to create overly complicated rape scenarios where multiple people can't figure out a less troublesome way to find victims) are best sent to police stations!!!!!!

Please send this to all your female friends/colleagues, and your friends with girlfriends and friends with wives (but not to your girlfriend, wife, or any family members). It is better to receive this a thousand times than is a victim (than is a? speak correctly!) once (actually, I'd rather the people responsible for passing it along get raped than have to read it ever again)!

To keep my Identity (capitalized for importance) and job safe (from what) I will just say that I am Officer Justice (of the made of title department, silly name division). Keep safe Ladies (also capitalized for importance)!

Please pass this on to family members (oh, now it's okay). It is better to be informed (better than what?). It is sad that we cannot even help children now (yes, you can, if you don't have fake, made up scenarios)!

One Love (oh, fuck you - what does that have to do with anything?)

Special thanks and a huge eat shit go to Liz Cruz in Payroll / H.R. at the Holmes Body Shop corporate office, as well as Laura Palma and Cheryl Weir, who helped make this chain find it's way to the gals who work for me at our office. 20 condoms all thrown around with semen for you ladies!