Thursday, February 26, 2009

50 Awesome Names For Noir Dicks

Maxwell Bump
Shepard “Shep” Houndclaw
Eddie Sidearm
Dash Worley, “Privatest Eye”
Smoke McCloud
Johnny C. Lately
Crescenzo “Cup” Pucino
Morris Longfellow
Vaughn von Renssalaer
Rex Abernathy
Rip Turlington IV (NOTE: wears eye patch)
Barnaby Frisco
Roscoe Tenpin
Hector O’Bannon
Chet Studebaker
Oscar Sweetwater
Ephraim Flintlock
JJ McDuff (NOTE: Is currently parked in the inconspicuous Ford right down the street)
Freddie Fong, The Fortune Teller
Elvin Armstrong
Stanley Brubeck (NOTE: Sleeps with and physically abuses all female clientele)
Eddie Gumm
Arnold “Switchblade” Sanders
Tefilio “Tug” Toronado
Riff Hoback
Salvatore “Flatiron” Venuti (NOTE: Knows you’re queerin’ the details, Mister)
Harold Getz
Fenster McCubbin
Moe Byrd (“Sorry, honey. This Byrd don’t sing.”)
Bruno “Deep Sleep” Kowolski
Walter “The Walnut” Baines (NOTE: He’ll never crack)
Frank “20/20” Salvatoriello
Jack Dobbins (NOTE: This whole thing’s gettin’ too big for him. He’s just tryin’ to make a living here.)
Puck Darlington
“Pop” Morgan, Sr.
The Hutch Brothers
Cliff Kastle (NOTE: He’ll never let you in)
Thurgood Badd
Mance L. Dinwiddie (NOTE: Plays all the angles)
Bones Goodwin
Sal Mandrake
Butch Longacre
Elroy Hirsch (NOTE: May be actual NFL Hall of Famer)
Harvey Lee Robinson
Nick Barque
Hubbs Lanscott (NOTE: Has midget assistant named Mancha)
Horace Traffort
Grayson “The Shadow” Lawson
Bix Weedmann (”I swear to Christ, Vern. One more reefer crack and I slug him. I don’t give a tinker’s damn how many stripes he’s got on his sleeve.”)
Clarence “Roughhouse” Hopper

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