Rybot, MJ, and I took to the Metro and rode to Old Montreal, which was exactly as I'd pictured it - very European, with narrow, stone-inlaid streets. Thus far the food has been very good, though it's not as if there's a Canadian cuisine to be had, but the different spots we've been to since yesterday have done us well. We're looking forward to the quallies and the race, but you'll have to wait until after the weekend to hear about it.
Best of the week: Gavin Stanger made an impression on Wenatchee police with the amount of contraband he was able to smuggle into the jail. Rectally.
He was booked into jail on a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct, and had arranged to serve three days in jail on the charge. No contraband was found on a pat-down search or on a later strip search, but about 90 minutes later, while Stanger was in a single holding jail, a jailer found a plastic bag and duct tape floating in the cell’s toilet.
The score? A cigarette lighter, rolling papers, a baggie of tobacco the size of a golf ball, a smaller baggie of marijuana, a 1-inch smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink and eight tattoo needles. That's a pretty impressive haul for three days. And for one asshole.
And: Where does one buy lingerie, sex toys or ointments in a regions of the world which frowns on any open displays of sexuality? It's a trick! You are an infidel and sinner and shall be put to death!
Actually, it's Khadija Ahmed's sex shop in Bahrain, which has been making burkas throb since 2008. Khadija Fashion House sells adult products through her website to customers across the Persian Gulf. Most of the items she sells are already available in Bahrain's shops and pharmacies anyway, and she avoids products that might stir public anger. "I don't sell vibrators for example, as this is against Islam." Oddly, other toys such as vibration rings were fine. Oh, the hypocrisy of religion.
Ahmed has not encountered much trouble with the public in Bahrain once she replaced lingerie in her display window with short dresses after threats complaints from neighbors and a nearby mosque. Discussing and displaying sex in public is a taboo in most Middle Eastern countries, but Islamic scholars have also said that sex toys are legitimate if used by married couples. See, those imams can loosen up. Bahrain is considered one of the more liberal countries in the Gulf region, allowing the sale of alcohol in bars and designated shops. Saudis, Qataris and Kuwaitis flock to the island kingdom each weekend to enjoy its nightlife.
Ahmed often has trouble getting her shipments cleared through customs and once ran into a spot of trouble when an official refused to clear a shipment of massage tools and vibration rings. She is not aware of any similar shop in the region, but is considering opening branches in Dubai, Lebanon and one of Bahrain's shopping malls.
Best bonus links:
• Study: Children Of Lesbians May Do Better Than Peers - I'm not sure at what, but the lesbians thing caught my attention.
• Mexico Teen Killed By US Border Patrol, Anger High - That's not allowed...to be made public. Because I'm sure that's not the first illegal killed by the Border Patrol.
• The Neverending, Never-Tell-Mommy Story - Interspecies and underage? Yikes!
• "It's Like A Herpes Nest" - On the season finale, the CDC should storm the Jersey Shore house and quarantine the lot of them.
• Source: Lohan's Ankle Monitor Went Off This Week / Judge Says Lohan Violated Terms Of Her Bail - Lindsay breaks more laws before 9am than you do all day.
• Studies Show Jews' Genetic Similarity - And contrary to rumor, there's no predisposition to banking, law, medicine, or entertainment.
• Four Minutes Of Action Movie Visual Cliches Set To Jesus Lizard - Just watch this 26 more times and you've got a hell of a movie.
• Phenom! Strasburg Strikes Out 14 In Nats Debut - Easy there, pal. Don't set the bar too high for yourself...unless you're going to strike out 15 in your second game...
• Executioner: Death By Firing Squad Is '100 Percent Justice' - Who am I to argue with the guy who shoot people to death for a living?
• Install A Full Power Panel In Your Car - Hands free doesn't have to be fun free!
• Pilot Killed In Hang Glider Crash During San Bernardino Aerobatics Contest - And he clearly lost.
• "Titanic 2- Mermaid Saviors" Sounds Awesome - Without James Cameron and a billion dollars in special effects, a title like that is what it would take for me to be interested.
• Israeli Patrol Kills Four Militants In Diving Suits - You have to pay to rent on their beaches! No bringing your own gear!
• 13-Year-Old Girl Drops The C-Word On ‘The Today Show’ - And I'll give you a hint: it wasn't "CBS".
• Reverse Engineering McDonald's French Fries - Now you can make them at home...because the trouble to make them from scratch is far easier than spending 99 cents.
• Same Newspaper Used On Set For Decades - Unfortunately, so have many of the same stale jokes.
• Don't Climb A Mountain In A Thunderstorm Before Proposing To Your Girlfriend - You know this can not end well. Hilariously, but not well.
Worst of the week: About 100 professional clowns who make money by performing on public buses marched through the Salvadoran capital to protest the killing of a passenger by two impostor clowns.
Now that you've read that, let's go back through because it may not have sunk in. In El Salvador, on-transit clown is an actual profession. and there's nearly 100 making their living at it. And they mobilized to protest a bus passenger killed by criminals who felt the best way to make money was to pose as on-transit clowns. And you though the US had a bad job market...
A man was shot five times in the face and stomach when he declined to give money to two assailants dressed as clowns who boarded a public bus. The protesters - who clearly wanted to be taken seriously, wearing oversized bow ties, tiny hats and big yellow pants, marched down San Salvador's main street in an effort to both entertain and educate passersby. Several held signs insisting that real clowns are not criminals. Clown-union leader (they have a union?) Carlos Vasquez says he plans to issue IDs to all real clowns and urge police to detain those who do not have them.
Can it be that big of a deal? About a dozen people are killed daily in El Salvador, which police attribute primarily to gang members, drug traffickers and other organized crime. And now, clowns.
Worst bonus links:
• Dog Whisperer Host Cesar Millan And Wife Divorcing - You can train some of the bitches some of the time, but you can't train all of the bitches all of the time.
• Secret Revealed: How Crocodiles Cross Oceans - And no, it's not on boats....though that makes sense.
• Kid Cudi Arrested On Charges Of Criminal Mischief, Possession Of A Controlled Substance - A lesser charge of "Who the fuck is Kid Cudi" was dropped.
• Christina Ricci Wants A Brazilian Booty Lift - I think I saw that in a movie. It was disgusting. Or maybe I'm thinking of Brazilian Booty Gangbang 3.
• Helen Thomas Retires In Flap Over Israel Remarks - Nobody listens to the half-baked comments of the elderly...unless they're internationally known reporters.
• Snooki: All I Want Is to Make Guido Babies! - Suddenly, I can't argue against euthanasia. Or euthinjersey.
• Mad Men's January Jones Involved In Accident After Being Followed By Paparazzi - They crapped themselves when they realized it wasn't Christina Hendricks.
• Toddler Falls From Bronx Balcony - Don't feel bad...it was going to grow up to be a hipster.
• Round-The-World Teen Sailor Feared Lost At Sea - Somewhere, there's a family about to lock their parent-of-the-year nomination.
• Laurie Anderson Performs Opera House Dog Concert - Performance artists are shit. Even for dogs.
• Surgery No Longer A Requirement For Changing Gender On Passport - You don't need to be a man to call yourself one...just warn the TSA not to panic if they give you a pat down.
• Former High School Principal Pleads No Contest To Molesting Four Students - The uncontested and still reigning champion of ruining teenagers lives...Mr. Belding!
• Scientists Use Calvin Klein Cologne To Lure Jaguars - Now is the time for them to launch "Sex Panther" cologne.
• Obama's Finding Out 'Whose Ass To Kick' In Oil Mess - Spoiler alert: it's major American corporate business interests and wealthy political donors.
• Report: Larry King's Wife Overdosed On Pills - If it was eternal rest or waking up to that shrivelled husk every morning, what would you do?
• Flash Floods Kill At Least 16 At Arkansas Campground - If only they had lived, the headline could have read "16 finally bathed...".
• Real Housewives’ Danielle Staub Has A Sex Tape - And just like her horrible show, I have no interest in seeing it.
He was booked into jail on a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct, and had arranged to serve three days in jail on the charge. No contraband was found on a pat-down search or on a later strip search, but about 90 minutes later, while Stanger was in a single holding jail, a jailer found a plastic bag and duct tape floating in the cell’s toilet.
The score? A cigarette lighter, rolling papers, a baggie of tobacco the size of a golf ball, a smaller baggie of marijuana, a 1-inch smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink and eight tattoo needles. That's a pretty impressive haul for three days. And for one asshole.
And: Where does one buy lingerie, sex toys or ointments in a regions of the world which frowns on any open displays of sexuality? It's a trick! You are an infidel and sinner and shall be put to death!
Actually, it's Khadija Ahmed's sex shop in Bahrain, which has been making burkas throb since 2008. Khadija Fashion House sells adult products through her website to customers across the Persian Gulf. Most of the items she sells are already available in Bahrain's shops and pharmacies anyway, and she avoids products that might stir public anger. "I don't sell vibrators for example, as this is against Islam." Oddly, other toys such as vibration rings were fine. Oh, the hypocrisy of religion.
Ahmed has not encountered much trouble with the public in Bahrain once she replaced lingerie in her display window with short dresses after threats complaints from neighbors and a nearby mosque. Discussing and displaying sex in public is a taboo in most Middle Eastern countries, but Islamic scholars have also said that sex toys are legitimate if used by married couples. See, those imams can loosen up. Bahrain is considered one of the more liberal countries in the Gulf region, allowing the sale of alcohol in bars and designated shops. Saudis, Qataris and Kuwaitis flock to the island kingdom each weekend to enjoy its nightlife.
Ahmed often has trouble getting her shipments cleared through customs and once ran into a spot of trouble when an official refused to clear a shipment of massage tools and vibration rings. She is not aware of any similar shop in the region, but is considering opening branches in Dubai, Lebanon and one of Bahrain's shopping malls.
Best bonus links:
• Study: Children Of Lesbians May Do Better Than Peers - I'm not sure at what, but the lesbians thing caught my attention.
• Mexico Teen Killed By US Border Patrol, Anger High - That's not allowed...to be made public. Because I'm sure that's not the first illegal killed by the Border Patrol.
• The Neverending, Never-Tell-Mommy Story - Interspecies and underage? Yikes!
• "It's Like A Herpes Nest" - On the season finale, the CDC should storm the Jersey Shore house and quarantine the lot of them.
• Source: Lohan's Ankle Monitor Went Off This Week / Judge Says Lohan Violated Terms Of Her Bail - Lindsay breaks more laws before 9am than you do all day.
• Studies Show Jews' Genetic Similarity - And contrary to rumor, there's no predisposition to banking, law, medicine, or entertainment.
• Four Minutes Of Action Movie Visual Cliches Set To Jesus Lizard - Just watch this 26 more times and you've got a hell of a movie.
• Phenom! Strasburg Strikes Out 14 In Nats Debut - Easy there, pal. Don't set the bar too high for yourself...unless you're going to strike out 15 in your second game...
• Executioner: Death By Firing Squad Is '100 Percent Justice' - Who am I to argue with the guy who shoot people to death for a living?
• Install A Full Power Panel In Your Car - Hands free doesn't have to be fun free!
• Pilot Killed In Hang Glider Crash During San Bernardino Aerobatics Contest - And he clearly lost.
• "Titanic 2- Mermaid Saviors" Sounds Awesome - Without James Cameron and a billion dollars in special effects, a title like that is what it would take for me to be interested.
• Israeli Patrol Kills Four Militants In Diving Suits - You have to pay to rent on their beaches! No bringing your own gear!
• 13-Year-Old Girl Drops The C-Word On ‘The Today Show’ - And I'll give you a hint: it wasn't "CBS".
• Reverse Engineering McDonald's French Fries - Now you can make them at home...because the trouble to make them from scratch is far easier than spending 99 cents.
• Same Newspaper Used On Set For Decades - Unfortunately, so have many of the same stale jokes.
• Don't Climb A Mountain In A Thunderstorm Before Proposing To Your Girlfriend - You know this can not end well. Hilariously, but not well.
Worst of the week: About 100 professional clowns who make money by performing on public buses marched through the Salvadoran capital to protest the killing of a passenger by two impostor clowns.
A man was shot five times in the face and stomach when he declined to give money to two assailants dressed as clowns who boarded a public bus. The protesters - who clearly wanted to be taken seriously, wearing oversized bow ties, tiny hats and big yellow pants, marched down San Salvador's main street in an effort to both entertain and educate passersby. Several held signs insisting that real clowns are not criminals. Clown-union leader (they have a union?) Carlos Vasquez says he plans to issue IDs to all real clowns and urge police to detain those who do not have them.
Can it be that big of a deal? About a dozen people are killed daily in El Salvador, which police attribute primarily to gang members, drug traffickers and other organized crime. And now, clowns.
Worst bonus links:
• Dog Whisperer Host Cesar Millan And Wife Divorcing - You can train some of the bitches some of the time, but you can't train all of the bitches all of the time.
• Secret Revealed: How Crocodiles Cross Oceans - And no, it's not on boats....though that makes sense.
• Kid Cudi Arrested On Charges Of Criminal Mischief, Possession Of A Controlled Substance - A lesser charge of "Who the fuck is Kid Cudi" was dropped.
• Christina Ricci Wants A Brazilian Booty Lift - I think I saw that in a movie. It was disgusting. Or maybe I'm thinking of Brazilian Booty Gangbang 3.
• Helen Thomas Retires In Flap Over Israel Remarks - Nobody listens to the half-baked comments of the elderly...unless they're internationally known reporters.
• Snooki: All I Want Is to Make Guido Babies! - Suddenly, I can't argue against euthanasia. Or euthinjersey.
• Mad Men's January Jones Involved In Accident After Being Followed By Paparazzi - They crapped themselves when they realized it wasn't Christina Hendricks.
• Toddler Falls From Bronx Balcony - Don't feel bad...it was going to grow up to be a hipster.
• Round-The-World Teen Sailor Feared Lost At Sea - Somewhere, there's a family about to lock their parent-of-the-year nomination.
• Laurie Anderson Performs Opera House Dog Concert - Performance artists are shit. Even for dogs.
• Surgery No Longer A Requirement For Changing Gender On Passport - You don't need to be a man to call yourself one...just warn the TSA not to panic if they give you a pat down.
• Former High School Principal Pleads No Contest To Molesting Four Students - The uncontested and still reigning champion of ruining teenagers lives...Mr. Belding!
• Scientists Use Calvin Klein Cologne To Lure Jaguars - Now is the time for them to launch "Sex Panther" cologne.
• Obama's Finding Out 'Whose Ass To Kick' In Oil Mess - Spoiler alert: it's major American corporate business interests and wealthy political donors.
• Report: Larry King's Wife Overdosed On Pills - If it was eternal rest or waking up to that shrivelled husk every morning, what would you do?
• Flash Floods Kill At Least 16 At Arkansas Campground - If only they had lived, the headline could have read "16 finally bathed...".
• Real Housewives’ Danielle Staub Has A Sex Tape - And just like her horrible show, I have no interest in seeing it.
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