Yankee$

The Yankees introduced A.J. Burnett and CC Sabathia to the press yesterday in their official coming-out party, or whatever they call those media circle jerks. Big League Stew smartly called this $240 million worth of initials, and the largesse is kind of embarrassing. Think about it: that’s an 82 million dollar pitcher standing next to a 161 million dollar pitcher standing in a new $1.3 billion dollar stadium.

In a related story, I found two dollars in change under my couch cushions. Hello, slice of pizza for lunch!

That’s not true, actually. It was just a joke. The truth is I have a futon because couches are way expensive. So I didn’t find any change at all. Who knows what I’ll have for lunch. Maybe this white bread is still good. Man, this got real depressing real fast.