Jeff Goldblum is a weird dude, and he has spent the last quarter-century playing a weird dude onscreen. Here are a few of his quirkiest moments.
Wiggling His Ears
Man, that is some talent. But seriously, watch it again and pay attention to his eyes. That's focus.
Demonstrating the Self-Heimlich Maneuver
When I was a small child, I choked on a stereo knob. I was turning blue until my housekeeper judo-chopped me in the solar plexus. What does that story have to do with Jeff Goldblum? Nothing. I just want you to know that she hit me.
Endorsing A Snack
Jeff Goldblum’s Wafers are not too forward, mildly flavored, and suggestive. They are also a hit with the ladies, unlike those wussy Wheat Thins. Enjoy them with a girl named Brie.
Slurring About Pizza
Goldblum was the spokesman for Apple that you didn’t want to strangle. Someone slowed down this ad and it sounds more like an evening with Jeff Goldschlager. Why when you’re this hammered does the conversation inevitably lead to pizza?
Slurring About Internet
The man has a good point. I'm buying all my friends The Internet for christmas.
Going From Gold To Blue
From Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job. Be sure to catch The Jeff GoldBluMan Group at your local amphitheater. Leave the drugs at home - you won't need them.
Being A Badass
From Deep Cover. When forcing a rat out of a moving limousine (while running from the cops) have Morpheus drive, shoot the rat in each hand and then in the ass, and have an original, badass line to yell from the car. A tried and true favorite is always “We will have barbeque jumbo shrimp, you motherfuck-er-err!”
Watching You Poop
The interweb is a maze of back alleys and shady places. One of these dark corners was (now-defunct) www.jeffgoldblumiswatchingyoupoop.com.
2 comments:
Love that quirky freaky cheeky bastard. He's also apparently a sick jazz penus. i mean pianist.
There was a place called Lucky Seven at Hollywood and Ivar, a post-Swingers retro bar, and his trio used to play there. Wasn't too bad...
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