You've got your reminder, so we hope to see you Saturday night. And if you're able to wake up early Sunday morning, there's the Aussie GP, which should be far better than the sluggish parade in Bahrain two weeks ago.Best of the week: James Cameron has always been outspoken...being one of the most profitable filmmakers in history will do that to you. This week he's has a few quotable remarks.
First, the Avatar DVD will be released solely with the movie. The picture tells you all you need to know. But the real sauce comes from his comments about Glenn "Dickbag" Beck.
"Glenn Beck is a fucking asshole," Cameron said at a news conference to promote the DVD release of Avatar. "I've met him. He called me the anti-Christ and not about Avatar. He hadn't even seen Avatar yet. I don't know if he has seen it."
Cameron was likely referring to Beck's reaction to his controversial 2007 documentary, The Lost Tomb of Jesus, which raises questions about Jesus' resurrection. Beck introduced a CNN interview with Cameron by saying, "Many people believe James Cameron officially has tossed his hat in the ring today and is officially running for anti-Christ."Cameron eventually did some back pedaling after blasting Beck, but suggested the two sit down to discuss political and environmental issues.
"I think, you know what, he may or may not be an asshole, but he certainly is dangerous, and I'd love to have a dialogue with him," Cameron said. And Cameron explained that Beck is dangerous because "his ideas are poisonous." "I couldn't believe when he was on CNN. I thought, what happened to CNN? Who is this guy? Who is this madman? And then of course he wound up on Fox News, which is where he belongs, I guess," Cameron said.
And just a few weeks back, he slagged Clash Of The Titans for half-assing the 3-D process. Way to go Jimmy, call it like you see it.
Plus: Hot Tub Time Machine writer Josh Heald recently wrote a short piece about the process of getting his film made. If you're old enough to remember One Crazy Summer and Better Off Dead, then, like me, you're looking forward to this. A small excerpt below:
The second burning question people always ask is, “What the hell was the pitch meeting like when Hot Tub Time Machine got sold?” I wish it was a crazier story. I wish there was blackmail or other nefarious business practices involved. There’s probably a version of the story where a movie executive has a vendetta against his bosses and buys the film for the purpose of bringing down the organization – and perhaps bringing about the complete destruction of the entertainment business as we know it. It was actually a very normal meeting.
It was May 2008. I had an extremely detailed outline for the screenplay, a lot of which is represented on screen. It was early in the week when I met with MGM, who completely understood the potential for this movie. They snapped it up and told me to get to work on the script. Twelve weeks later, I handed them the first draft – and at that point, the project moved into overdrive. The name Cusack came up and before long, we had a director. And a killer cast. And a green light. I had written Rob Corddry’s role specifically for him, so I was especially thrilled when he loved the script and came aboard. And Craig Robinson and Clark Duke could not have been more hilarious and perfectly cast.
Also: The Indian military has a new weapon against terrorism (and Pakistan) - the world's hottest chili.
After conducting tests, the military has decided to use the thumb-sized bhut jolokia, aka "ghost chili," to make tear gas-like hand grenades to immobilize suspects. The bhut jolokia was accepted by Guinness World Records in 2007 as the world's spiciest chili. It is grown and eaten in India's as a cure for stomach troubles and a way to fight the crippling summer heat. The pepper has more than 1,000,000 Scoville units, the scientific measurement of a chili's spiciness. Classic Tabasco sauce ranges from 2,500 to 5,000 Scoville units, while jalapeno peppers measure anywhere from 2,500 to 8,000. Trials are also on to produce bhut jolokia-based aerosol sprays to be used by women against attackers and for the police to control and disperse mobs.
However, that won't stop Anadita Dutta Tamuly. Last year she ate 51 one the peppers in under two minutes. She then shocked onlookers by smearing handfuls of seeds into her eyes.
And: It’s recently been discovered that a species of jellyfish, the turritopsis nutricula, can revert back to its first stage of life, meaning it is the only known animal with no natural limit on its lifespan. It could theoretically live forever when kept away from predators and other dangers.
The jellyfish can perform transdifferentiation, changing one type of cell into another. Some animals can perform limited transdifferentiation (e.g. starfish regrowing limbs), but turritopsis nutricula can turn back the aging process on all of its cells. Because they are able to bypass death, the number of animals are spiking. They’re now found in oceans around the globe rather than just in their native Caribbean waters. I think somebody has to find a way to make those delicious so they can thin them out. Lobster was once a sea-spider before they found a little butter...
Best picture of the week:
Lindsay Lohan assumes the position...a familiar one
Best bonus links:
• Man Puts Dead Squirrel On Penis And Shows Kids - The headline is enough to merit posting.
• Name Of The Year: Better Bracketology - NCAA basketball is lame, and the hoopla around the tournament is grossly overated. So if you have have a bunch of nonsense to follow, at least let it sound like nonsense.
• Sandra Would Have Hit Jesse With A Baseball Bat - And not just once. I think she would have beat the tattoos right off him.
• California Initiative To Legalize Marijuana Qualifies For November Ballot - And I will vote yes on that. Twice.
• Killer Icicles Terrorizing Pedestrians In Russia - Worse than the KGB and more difficult to avoid than seceding satellite state, it looks as though there's a new Red Scare.
• MTV Sets Schedule For Final Season Of The Hills - It's already been forgotten, but soon it will also be gone!
• RNC Loses Bid To Raise Unlimited 'Soft' Money - Anytime the words Republican and lose are in the same sentence, I'm happy. And bonus points that it negatively effects their fund raising.
• NHL Players' Union Approves New Head Shot Ban - Nut shots, eye gouges are still permitted.
• Weird Trading Cards From Japanese Mayonnaise Packaging - You mean, your mayonnaise doesn't have trading cards? Processed egg fat isn't the same without it!
• Death From GHB And Chardonnay - Vulgar and disgusting, but a decent sync job.
• No. 1 UConn Routs Temple, 90-36 - Gee, not a surprise from the month-long basketball fiasco where people care more about fantasy standings than knowing anything about more than three teams.
• Almost All The Naughty NSFW Images On Wikipedia In One Place - Granted, it's no better than doing a Google search, but it's like finding a dirty picture in a textbook at school. Cheap
• Dog Eats Police Car - It probably just wanted the cute little blue chew toys on the inside. They make a squeaky noise and are filled with doughnuts.
• He Said Yes! - As in, "Chris Evans agreed to play Captain America." Which has to be better than if the part had gone, as rumored, to Ryan Phillippe, John Krasinski, Mike Vogel, Garret Hedlund, Scott Porter, Chace Crawford, Michael Cassidy, and almost every pretty non-brunette male actor in Hollywood under 30.
• Teenage Girl Gives Herself Carpal Tunnel From Sending 4,000 Texts A Month - And 3,800 were to the same person. Do you really need to send "OMG!" after every single thing?
• Reciting Pi While Balancing Books And Spinning A Rubik's Cube - Pretty impressive, but let's not feel bad when she ends up not going to prom. We're going to point right back to this.
• Scientists Look To Tobacco As A Potential Biofuel - Are we talking the plant leaf or the discarded chaw? That would be cool to watch Earl spit a ball of murky chew juice down onto his tractor engine. That's a scientific win-win.
Worst of the week: Dumb Americans have always had extreme views of President Obama, but a controversial new survey shows some real insanity. suggesting that 40 percent of adults believe he is a socialist, and about a quarter of survey participants thinking the president is a racist, anti-American and even doing things Hitler did.
The results come from an online Harris Poll involving 2,320 adults (?) who were surveyed online between March 1 and March 8. Respondents were read each of 15 statements and asked whether they thought they were true or false. The sample of people was selected from among roughly 4 million people who agreed to participate and are given "modest incentives". The results were then "weighted to reflect the composition of the U.S. adult population". Take a look and see if it makes any sense, or if we're a country full of lunatics.
Here's the percentage breakdown of respondents' views of President Obama:
38% say he wants to take away Americans' right to own guns.
32% say he is a Muslim.
29% think he wants to turn over the sovereignty of the United States to a one world government.
14% of Americans say President Barack Obama may be the Antichrist.
29% think he has done many things that are unconstitutional.
27% say he resents America's heritage.
27% say he does what Wall Street and the bankers tell him to do.
25% say he was not born in the United States and so is not eligible to be president.
25% say he is a domestic enemy that the U.S. Constitutions speaks of.
23% say he is a racist.
23% say he is anti-American.
23% say he wants to use an economic collapse or terrorist attack as an excuse to take dictatorial powers.
20% say he is doing many of the things that Hitler did.
If that's the case, America must be destroyed.
Plus: There's a reason Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber exists. And any one of them would be far less annoying than this wigger bitchboy.
And there's too much media in the world about him. Here's a promo clip about Bieber for an upcoming MTV show, which consists of him blow drying his hair. This isn't like having a talent like Freddie Mercury sing random newspaper columns, or Picasso making doodles while talking on the phone. It's a pre-pubescent turd who is working his gay q-tip doo - and that's actually passing for advertisement?
Currently, the authorities are trying to indite Bieber's manager for a mall appearance frenzy, but if they really want to punish people for a crime, it should be the fans for having such shit taste.
Also: Jennifer Love Hewitt's new book came out this week, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-aholic -- no really, that's what the damn thing is called. Well timed to coincide with getting dumped I might add. She gave an interview to USA Today about how ridiculous she is. I think that's what the point was.
"It's not the ideal situation," she says about the flame-out of her relationship, "but the thing I'm really happy about is that I never say in the book that I know how to find perfect love or how to be in the perfect relationship." So then what's the point? Just to share your failing wisdom? "I'm thrust back into the dating world as the book is coming out, so I feel more than ever that people will know I'm kind of with them in the trenches." And realize that perhaps you're a touch full of shit about your own advice
She says it isn't tough being single again. "It's what life handed me, and I'm OK with it." Sure. "I know wholeheartedly that I'm a really good partner. I think I'm a really good girlfriend, and I think that I could be a really good wife. I know that I love being able to give my love out to someone. I know there is somebody great out there for me." She's like a living, breathing dating site commercial.
Despite being a "serial dater" and unsuccessful relationships with the likes of John Mayer and actor Ross McCall, she says, "I'm a hopeless romantic. I love love. My middle name is Love. Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. I want to have a family and children. I am a sucker for every romantic comedy that comes out." No, you're female equivielent of a man-child. Grow up orenjoy old maidenhood.
Worst picture of the week:
it was a bad idea for the presidential election, so how desparate are you to bring that unqualified idiot back again?
Worst bonus links:
• 147 Toddlers Infected In Uzbek HIV Outbreak - It must be that gay, intraveinous drug lifestyle that they're known for. When will these children grow up and see the consequences of their actions?
• David Arquette: Why We Named Our Daughter Coco - Because you're a dumb motherfucker.
• Divorce Attorney Says Dennis Hopper Is Dying - Though he just got a gratuitous Walk-Of-Fame star, it's sad that he's withering away from cancer. That is pretty much the only way to win in a divorce.
• Hamilton Stopped By Police / Virgin Fuel Tank Not Big Enough - F1 news in advance of the race in Melbourne, neither effecting the outcome. Hambone likes to make burnouts leaving practice, and Virgin made a rookie mistake.
• Transformers 3 Hires More Quality Actors to Have Giant Robots Pee On - In this economy, everybody will take work just to get a paycheck. Horrible work for a undeserved paycheck.
• Is This What You Want? - Fuck and no. Green Day stopped being interesting years before their magnum opus crap "American Idiot". So how awful does a Braodway show look based on that? It makes the Spider-Man musical look like a Sondheim production.
• Glenn Beck On Martin Luther King And Gandhi - Nobody needs to hear what this raging dumbass has to say about those men. He's not even good enough to mention their names. Next up, Dick Cheney on Mother Teresa.
• Panthers’ Booth Leaves Game After Check To Head - Does this guy have a target on his back or what? That's the second blast of the season - and he was already out for 45 games after the first hit.
• Heathrow Worker Warned In Scanner Ogling Claim - He was told to stop having fun at work.
• Bin Laden Warns US Not To Kill 9-11 Mastermind - It would really hurt his feelings.
• Vatican Declined to Defrock U.S. Priest Who Abused Boys - Do you want the Church to start punishing their own for following doctrine? Beside, what good is defrocking him after he defrocked all those boyd?
• Chinese Boy Born With A Record 31 Fingers And Toes / 1 In 10 Chinese Adults Are Diabetics, Study Finds - Their toxic food and medicine production foreshadowed a country with a serious health issues.
• The Peanut Butter Man - I have no idea why...but he exists.
• Study Finds Status, Not Wealth, Closely Linked To Happiness - I find that my wealth increases my status. But more importantly, the more money I have, the happier I am. I'm not sure what you can buy with a million status...but a million dollars goes pretty far.
• Trainer's Family Wants SeaWorld Death Video Sealed - There is a valuable lesson in watching the animal kingdom go berserk. I don't know what it is, but maybe after I see the video a few times, it will ocme to me.
• I'm No Hacker, Says Man Who Cracked Obama's Twitter - That's right up there with, "I'm no criminal", says many who robbed convenience store. Innocence through misdirection.
• The First Legal Gigolo In America Quits - I guess that disputes the notion that men will fuck anything. The nice thing about prostitutes is you're paying them to leave, not for the sex, but in his case they were paying to stay.
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