Fucktard Parents

The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. For what? His stupidity? His poor judgment? His racist views?

Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend. "I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past," he said. "There's a new president and he says it's time for a change; well, then it's time for a change," the how'd-he-make-it-to-35-being-that-idoitic-year-old continued. "They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did."

Deborah Campbell (25) said she phoned in her order last week to the ShopRite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son's name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request. A spokeswoman for ShopRite, said the Campbells had similar requests denied at the same store the last two years and said Heath Campbell previously had asked for a swastika to be included in the decoration. What was that about "not focusing on the past"? "We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate...We considered this inappropriate," they said in defense of their actions.

The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, who don't give a shit about what's on the cake (because at Wal-Mart you can trample their workers). About 12 people attended the birthday party over the weekend, including several children who were of mixed race, according to Hitler's father. "If we're so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?" he asked. The Campbells' other two children also have supremely awesome racist unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April. Why hasn't someone stepped in and kept these mutants from breeding already? They're up 3-0!

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name." Yeah, except for that genocidal crackpot. He sounded surprised by all the controversy the dispute had generated. I imagine he's also surprised by the daily return of the fiery orb in the sky, or the magical box that shows moving pictures and talks.

Campbell said his ancestors are German and that he has lived his entire life in Hunterdon County (no surprise there). To prove his uselessness to society, he wore a pair of black boots he said were worn by a German soldier during World War II. He said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically. But he said he would try to raise his children differently. "Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I don't really care," he said. "That's his choice." Hmmm, not buying that one...