Friday, July 16, 2010

MP3ajuana And Headphoneroin

Why have I wasted years and money on drugs when I could just get high with a pair of cans and a few songs?

If you're totally stupid and unaware of technology, you'd believe that kids around the country are getting high on the internet, thanks to MP3s that induce a state of ecstasy. And Kansas News 9 absolutely buys it. The phenomenon is called I-dosing, which involves finding an "online dealer" who can hook you up with "digital drugs" that get you high through your headphones.

"Kids are going to flock to these sites just to see what it is about and it can lead them to other places," Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs spokesman Mark Woodward told News 9.

I-dosing involves donning headphones and listening to "music" - largely a droning noise - which the sites peddling the sounds promise will get you high. They claim teens are listening to tracks like "Gates of Hades" and getting blazed. Kids who are unable to get real drugs but still want to get "high" on the "drugs" can purchase tracks that will purportedly bring about the same effects of marijuana, cocaine, opium and peyote. Yeah, played by who, God's symphony? And for potential digital drug users suckers, they can buy a 40-page guide so that they learn how to properly get high on MP3s.

Kansas' Mustang Public School district isn't taking the threat lightly, and sent out a letter to parents warning them of the "new craze". The educators have gone so far as to ban iPods at school, in hopes of preventing honor students from becoming cyber-drug fiends, News 9 reports. Sorry, everyone - listening to a tone generator oscillate will give you a headache, and then you'll really need to take drugs to feel better.

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